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Loving a Married Man

I write this because I am in love with a married man.  He tells me his marriage has ended long ago, but they stay together for the sake of their child and their grandchild.

I say life is too short to stay in a relationship that is non fulfilling of needs and desires. He says he doesn't want to hurt me, but that has already happened.

When he touches me and those electrifying sensations fill me, I can't help but know I love him and I can't change his mind about ending an unhappy marriage.

I have become the other woman, although I am not thrilled with that idea, he brings the best out in me.

 

 

crazydreams crazydreams 46-50, F 54 Responses Mar 15, 2008

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im inlove wit a married guy 2 nd its veri hatd cz at tym'z u jsr scream so hard nd let da whole world knw bt u cnt,2 him he says they r nt hapi nd ppl around say its a gud looking hme on da outsyd nd walk in da insyd its another stori,he reali does try 2 myk equal tym 4 me nd his family,we do spend overnyts 2gather,he does everthng 4 me nd he trys his best 2 b thre bt at tyms it gets hard wen i need hm,nd he cnt c me or cnt cal cz his wife is thre,they also hv children 2gather nd they r young,i to knw wat cuming 4rom a devorced hme feelz lyk nd i wudnt wnt 2 destoy thre family by forcing da idea of leaving he must decide dat on hz own.bt 2 b honest he is far 4rom lwaving hz family nd myb nt eva

Well said Funni3<br />
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Ladies we all love them and they love us and I am not going to belittle that and others should not throw insults..love is love..it has differing degrees but it is still love and love is what life is all about. And Mr M has not 'led us a stray' or 'led us on' or 'used us' or 'decieved us (that is if he was honest enough to say he was married ..we made the choice as well . However we came to be together we both chose to. And many a Mrs M KNOWS when her other half is in a relationship with another and she chooses to ignore it for her own reasons..obviously some don't ..but many do. So all 3 are in a bit of a mess lol . <br />
If it is such a mess and suffering and time to leave out...then as previously said...YOU have to take the steps to stop..the choice IS ours.<br />
love to all x

Very well put....we all make our own choices....at no point did my Mr. M ever threaten me or hold a gun to my head to force me to stay......we do what we do for the sake of feeling loved and loving someone else back.......

Ok. I see what is happening here girls. I hate to say it but we must all be dating the same man! I truly believed when I met Steve that my relationship with him was different to all other married man relationships. Why? Because we really did love each other. I always think with my heart tho, and knew this kind of relationship would kill me. So despite his tears, I kept pushing him away even though I loved him. There were no ultimatums to give, I am divorced and 44, he is 35 and married no children. I made him cry terribly one day and said, we won't ever be together. He asked why not, how could I know that. I just said, I know. I said that if he could have wound back the clock, he would have had the sense to see that he should never have gotten into a relationship with me. (he didn't tell me he was married). He said it was obvious that there was something wrong with his marriage and IF he split up, it would not be because of me. He said that because he loved me genuinely, he would leave me alone and let me get on with my life. And what would be would be. So...yes I am heartbroken and believe I will NEVER see his face again. But I do think, that if you're all looking for a way out....you have to take steps to stop. <br />
<br />
I stopped because I have a 75 year old aunt, who still to this day pretends she has a boyfriend after 40 years. She is now a drunk, in a wheelchair having had a stroke through smoking and not taking care of herself.....and love or no love.....people will always tell you, DON'T DATE A MARRIED MAN! Good luck girls. x

Me, single educated professional woman... 44 and no children. Him, 16 years my senior, physician married for 30 plus years. Despite my smarts, I've been foolish enough to prolong such a dead ended relationship. I can go on about the intense connection (yes, we have that) How much I've fallen for him, bla bla, bla ... How much he refiuses to stop calling and fill my head with countless bouts of flattery...,Three years now. Stringing me along, inticing me at every whim. Im just down right TIRED of being ALONE. I9n addition, I'm emotionally drained. How do I end this painlessly?

I m 30 year old lady in a B town. <br />
Yes it is painfull, truly painful. I waz or i m still in love with a person older to me 17 years. we had a 11 year relationship, Our relation got really true n loving, a high level of trust but due to his physical n family demands suddenly he become too slow n careless for me. I have tolerated till i can n than i just tried to let him know i feel pain when he treat me like this. <br />
Imagine the Man whom i claim knows me the best, he just brusted on me, and said in very clear language that he is nt at all my husband or my boyfriend, just like a friend. If i call him or ask to meet him, he wil meet me only at one condition if he has time frm his work n family he can see me. otherwise i should never expact anything else frm him. Even i decided to be with him althrough i am broken completely, its like end of my life. But if i wil try to leave him i wouldn't be able to live for a day, so i am just preparing myself slowly to come out of all this before leaving him for ever. I am trying to engage myself in my work badly so that i can forget that pain. althrough its nt that easy.<br />
I waz a innocent girl, honest, full of emotions, n today i m crushed badly. he even didn't see my tears for once , he just said , he don,t like tears(its all Fake) , if i wil cry he wil never met me. I want to come out of all this as this is truly painful, i feel like commiting suicide. but think my family my parents did so much for mr alwayz how can i give them pain. <br />
Actually there is no solution for this problem. All these men are like same, they just use you n go away. we get used. May God give me strength to come out of all this.<br />
thanx dear all for your view but we ourself has to do efforts because its our life which is getting distroyed, they are living their life happily.

i'm in same situation also, i'm in an affair with a married man whose 20 years older than me, he love s me as he said, but it hurts me every time i wanted to be with him or call him but i cannot because hes with his family, he showered me with all materials thing he can afford to gave. But its not that i wanted i wanted him not any material things. He love his family i can see the way he cares for them but i dont know why and how can i stop this relationship.

i'm in same situation also, i'm in an affair with a married man whose 20 years older than me, he love s me as he said, but it hurts me every time i wanted to be with him or call him but i cannot because hes with his family, he showered me with all materials thing he can afford to gave. But its not that i wanted i wanted him not any material things. He love his family i can see the way he cares for them but i dont know why and how can i stop this relationship.

I am new to this situation and never imagined I would be the dreaded other woman. But I am. I love my MM more than anything in the entire world. I know that he loves me too. I believe we will eventually end up together. It has only been a serious full fledged affair for 5 months now. For the 5 months prior to that we went from being acquaintances, to friends to best friends to together every waking moment. Then we finally admitted that we had fallen in love and allowed ourselves to act on our feelings. I love him unconditionally and he loves me as much. It is the most difficult situation I have ever been in but I love him and he is worth waiting for and any pain that I have to go through to be able to be with him when I can. I agree that life is too short to stay i a bad relationship but I myself have done it twice so I can understand his reasons for not leaving. Mine is not a secret affair, our friends and families know about it and his wife even knows how much time we spend together. She just doesn't know the extent of our relationship. Very, very complicated situation. Bottom line is i love him and can not imagine my life without him. So... One day at a time. No promises. No regrets. Just love him.

I am new to this situation and never imagined I would be the dreaded other woman. But I am. I love my MM more than anything in the entire world. I know that he loves me too. I believe we will eventually end up together. It has only been a serious full fledged affair for 5 months now. For the 5 months prior to that we went from being acquaintances, to friends to best friends to together every waking moment. Then we finally admitted that we had fallen in love and allowed ourselves to act on our feelings. I love him unconditionally and he loves me as much. It is the most difficult situation I have ever been in but I love him and he is worth waiting for and any pain that I have to go through to be able to be with him when I can. I agree that life is too short to stay i a bad relationship but I myself have done it twice so I can understand his reasons for not leaving. Mine is not a secret affair, our friends and families know about it and his wife even knows how much time we spend together. She just doesn't know the extent of our relationship. Very, very complicated situation. Bottom line is i love him and can not imagine my life without him. So... One day at a time. No promises. No regrets. Just love him.

I can honestly say u have given me some clarity to my situation, One Day at a time is all I have at this present moment and patience is a verge !

I love him....I just love him....i cant help it ...i love him...its soooo painful....I lovvvve him.<br />
you fools.Why does your pain and love matter? His wife has pain and love too.....sinful retards......

I agree that love hurts...altho in my mind it is the best thing that will ever happen to any one in love. True love love comes at any point in time. It sounds ridiculous but true. There's no age limit in falling in love w/someone. I believe that the older you are, the better you understand the situation . You find yourself out of your senses, the magic makes you stupid or out of control. Finding yourself deeply in love in the most awkward way is just inexplicable. Being in love with a young and married man, but no children makes you crazy. And the sad part is that the man you are in with is 30 yrs younger, and could be just a son for you. It's awful, painful and very depressing. Thinking that this guy is also enjoying your company and very much comfortable being attached to you, makes you more mixed up. Maybe, I just could stay loving him no matter how it hurts, as long as i will not lose him. I do not want to destroy his marriage, anyways.<br />
I just can thank God for givng me this opportunity to have met someone that I truly love with all my heart and will love him unconditionally.

I'm going through the same thing with my married boyfriend. It's not that easy to walk away from something that feels sooooo good lol. But on the other hand there's a lot of pain that comes with that pleasure. Keep your head up girlfriend your not alone.

i am also in love with a married man well hes married but they dont live together they just still see each other and well it breaks my heart knowing that as bad as i love him its going to comeback and haunt me.. i love the way he is with me i never felt so loved. we have an 11 year difference im 20 and hes 31. ive had good looking single guys trying to date men and have something serious but as much as i try i cant leave him... i know this is an obssession its been going for about 3 years, there was a time his "wife" even found out about us and yet were still together... right now hes actually sleeping @ my apt waiting for me to get my lunch break.... it is so difficult to talk about this to anyone with out judging so can someone that is going thru the same thing give me any advise?????? thanks

Take it one day at a time, I to am in love with a married man, next month will be our 1 yr anniversary, I feel so lost some days without him and with him soo in love, confused my damn self????

I am in love with a married man & have been having this affair for a little over 2 years now. It is definitely an obsession. I have tried a million times to figure it out every which way I can. It never makes sense. Why can't I just walk away. I have fought, struggled with myself and him over it all of this time. It is cunning.... I have caused horrendous fights just to push him away. Acted in the craziest ways and he never walks away. The last time, we said it was over he was able to honor the plan... I was not. I persisted until I got my way. Him in my arms again. It seems now that we have a completely new beginning. I feel like it has taken me 2 years to just be able to accept this situation. The last month that we spent apart...ripped at my heart in the worst way. I had do do some serious soul searching and come to an understanding with it. I have reached acceptance and realize that it is so much more important to have this man in my life than not. I can only trust that this is how it should be. I do not know what the future holds. What I do know is that I love him. I am not willing to put my life on hold over it and do not have any false ideas that he will leave his wife and family and we can live happily ever after. I have learned so lessons through this journey. Lessons that I find to be very valuable in relationships accross the board. For today I will love him and if I am suppose to grow out of this I will. Otherwise, I will continue on with my relationship with this man as long as it goes. I love him

I love a married man :) hes happy im happy, i just dont think about the future and enjoy what i have today... i dont know if im crazy but , i dont want him to leave his family, im ok this way , im free but at the same time i have somebody to share things and feelings.<br />
I know eventually i would meet someone just right for me, but in the mean time im enjoying what life put in front of me ... him. <3

I've been seeing a married man who is 13 years my senior. We started sleeping together after I'd left my husband. I didn't leave my husband FOR him, we actually got involved very shortly after I'd moved out. I've known him professionally for many years and we always got along well, even though we didn't see each other that often. He did know that over the years I'd been having marital problems. I do love him and I DO know he will never leave his wife of over 30 years. They have grown children and he takes care of, and looks after everyone; including me. I had left a sexless marriage and he's made me feel like a woman again. He's been kind, attentive and helped me in so many ways including financially. He paid for a vacation for my daughter and I to go to Europe a few weeks ago. <br />
I NEVER in my life envisioned myself in a situation like this. I was NEVER, EVER unfaithful while I was living with my husband for 23 years. <br />
For reasons undefined? I don't judge him for being unfaithful to HIS wife, and I don't have any hard feeling toward his wife. I also don't feel like I'm hurting her in any way. <br />
As I see it? She gets all of him, I get the best of him. We're great friends and lovers. We talk and txt every single day for the last nine months. <br />
He's wonderful to his family, and I don't feel I've taken any of that away. I tease him that wasting it all on one woman would have been a sin!<br />
Were he MY husband? NO, I wouldn't be happy with him and his philandering. I'm not his first mistress. He does still sleep with his wife occasionally. <br />
I know this will end someday. I'm not officially divorced yet, the paperwork grinds on. I don't want to be alone my whole life and in many ways WITH him I WILL be alone. <br />
I know it will hurt like hell though..

loving a married man is indeed painful. I am loving the one I used to treat as my elder bro, he's married and have 3 kids. This is really hard but I need to stop this affair.

I totally understand your situation. I am in love with a married man myself...now 3 yrs.

It helps to read these stories because I am also in love with a married man. I was attracted to him for a long time but I was married...never let my feelings get out of control because after all...it was just a physical attraction. We got a long great (met through work but rarely saw each other). Things were bad in my marriage but I have always had the belief and respect to stay faithful 100%, Well, not sure what happened but things got carried away, I cheated....and two months later, I realized even more how unhappy I was in my marriage and what I had done was so wrong. It has been 7 months now since I left my husband and I am still seeing the married man. He claims that he is not sleeping with his wife anymore, they sleep in separate bedrooms, he is unhappy and tells me over the holidays that he knows the time is coming soon for the truch, he can't live like this much longer.....but nothing....of course he is wonderful and loving and caring.....don't we call feel this way? Would we all be putting ourselves through this if they weren't this good to us??? Nobody knows except for my best friend...I'm crushed inside....can't live like this anymore. I wasn't happy and I left and would have left whether there was someone in my life romantically or not. So why isn't he? I know from other people that what he tells me is true abotu sleeping in separate bedrooms, not having any romance, not being happy.....she was sick and now is fine...she lost her job but seems ok....then it was the holidays...he couldn't tell her this over the holidays.....I love him so much but what are the chances that he would do the same thing to me that he is doing to her???

Loving a married man is very painful. U will need to have a very huge understanding about the situation, and u must sacrifice.. I know how it feels because me too is having an affair with a married man for 6 years. i wish i could share my story here next time.

i have been there twice. just broke off all communication with both. hurts like hell as they were so special to me and bound by marriages due to parental duties (or so they say) neither of these situations were intentional, just bad timing. one was an emotional connection, the other is a combination of physical and friendship, luckily long distance, i cant get him off of my mind. it's like i'm missing a vital organ, but i need more than he can give and he has yet to reel me back in after more than a month of silence. i'm just glad it was my choice to run away.

I too am in love with a married man. He told me it was best we stopped seeing each other because it was getting involved. we never did anything other than kiss. He is in a miserable situation, his wife is an alcoholic and doesn't do anything for him or the kids. He does it all. He says he hated when his parents go divorced when he was young and he doesn't want his kids to go through that. I say i lived with miserable parents for years that wouldn't divorce and that made it hard on us.. I finally got out of a miserable marriage after 20 years and i am so thankful for a second chance at life... i have told him he deserves to be happy... i understand where he is coming from.. i guess it took me a long time to finally say i have had enough and get out.... i just can't stand not talking to him or seeing him... i am he was atleast honest with me and didn't want to hurt me by leading me on. But i would rather still be seeing him.... my prayer is that he wakes up and realizes that he will never be happy unless he does something to make himself happy.... fear is the problem. how do i go on without him??? He is all I think about.

Yes.....its very hard and I know in the end I will be the one that will hurt the most.......seeing a man that is married.....they also have not children, he also says its been over for them for a long time.....he vows his love for me, and I to him....he says I am The one he has looked for all his life.......its hard not to believe that.....except he still funtions everyday with his wife like normal.......and I am the side line girl.<br />
I know I either have to put an end to it, and be done, or ......and I dont think OR will ever happen.<br />
So I'll love him, and probibly will always........but I cant be the other woman forever, and wont.....

You know what to do. It will hurt, but he doesn't love you enough, and that knowledge will eventually hurt even more than the pain of leaving. Good luck.

If there are no children involved and it's been over a long time, then there should be no reason for him to still be with her. That is a red flag for a life of heartache if you continue. As much as you may love him, shouldn't he give you the same in return which ultimately means for him to move on from her and have a life with you? It is going to hurt terribly, but you have to have some pride in yourself and have to believe that you deserve to get what you give from your heart.

i know how you feel. The man i love says he's leaving his wife but i dont know when. They have no kids and i have been with him for 18 months yet we have never met as of yet. He show me more love then i have ever felt in my life

You haven't met him? Maybe i don't understand. As a man, with a rotten marriage and kids, I do understand how we guys make decisions. If he was protecting children, I might believe that he loves you. But if he is protecting himself, or his wife's feelings, then you need to understand that he loves himself and her more than he loves you.

yeah I know the feeling too. it's hurts more than anything. He swears he loves me and that he would never hurt me but you know he doesn't realize that he is hurting me bad. He swears him and his wife are separated but damn wtf... if you are separated get the damn divorce and move on. He is my best friend and I def would never hurt him but i wish he would realize that i do care for him more than she ever could and that well frankly i'm getting tired of waiting.

I can understand your pain.........it kills us inside that the one we love is not our.It hurts like hell.I dun understand y dey want us wid them if they dun want to leave their wife.They dun want to hurt us,they dun want to leave us,they dun want us to leave them &amp; they dun want to leave their wife.....In the end i will be the one who will b hurt not him not his wife............i want to see him happy only ..but i can't b happy without him......I am tiered of watching him with his wife talking on phone n their pics on facebook......I am exhausted.

SO if a man stays with his wife even though they are unhappy and do not have sex or any kind of relations u say he is staying with his wife cuz he is having his cake and eating it too. i ask because im curios as to why a man who is clearly unhappy with his home life would stay when he has a great woman willing to be there for him yes he has a child who is 15 he makes excuses like her mom is sick blah blah and i will leave one day but probably not till the kid is 18 etc so ya that is the jist of it any thoughts?

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