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Fallen In Love With a Married Man...

Update Again... It has been almost 3 months since we have been together and we are happier than ever. The kids love me. I had problems with the older one being very disrespectful and resenting me. My guy talked to her and told her how it made me feel. She hasn't done it since. She has nothing but love for me and always hugs me and asks me to go to EVERYTHING with her. She even bought me a best friends necklace for christmas. I sure do love those little girls. This is really a dream come true. Yes, his soon to be ex wife and I have butt heads a few times but she bakes me cookies and sends them over with the girls the next day so I guess you can say I'm in control. My guy and I never fight and couldn't be happier. We are excited for the future. Thanks for reading guys. I really do wish the best of luck to you all. I hope that everyone can feel the love that I am feeling.  

UPDATE!!!!! HE LEFT HER TODAY!!! I AM BY FAR THE HAPPIEST PERSON THAT HAS EVER WALKED THIS BEAUTIFUL GREEN PLANET. EVERYONE TOLD ME IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN AND IF HE LOVED ME THEN HE WOULD BE WITH ME. WELL HE DOES! IT JUST TAKES TIME. TO EVERYONE THAT IS IN MY SITUATION, HAVE FAITH! KEEP HOPE! I KNOW OTHERS WON'T BE AS LUCKY AS I AM BUT HAVE PATIENCE AND THINGS WILL GO HOW THEY ARE MEANT TO GO.

 

I'd like to start by saying that I don't need your judgmental comments.  I know that what I'm doing is wrong. If you don't have anything helpful to say, don't comment. 

I started this job. I was the only girl there so of course all the guys gawk over me. One in particular was very intrigued and asked a co worker of ours to ask me questions. That is how we met. He asked me if I was married. I am divorced and told him the truth. I returned the question just to be nice. He said he was married with 2 children and I didn't think anything more of it. 

We started working a little closer and got to having small talk. He asked about my divorce and I told him some of the details. While telling him my story he kept giving me weird looks. I would ask how things with him were and he always said they were great and all. I could tell that he was lying. One day he came to work very depressed so we talked about it. Him and his wife had gotten into a fight earlier that day and he finally broke down and told me everything was horrible and had been for a long time.

They haven't slept in the same bed for over 5 years. She is very mean and disrespectful to him. She doesn't let him have friends, not even male friends! She watches him like a hawk and this is way before I came around. 

Anyways, so we would talk on out breaks and stuff and we just really clicked. I've never laughed so much and he said that he hasn't either. Well he got a text message and I told him to forward it to me and that's how we exchanged numbers. We texted occasionally and one day I had to tell him how I felt. He was an amazing father. He loves his kids so much. He does what he has to, to support his family. He takes all this crap from his wife just so he won't hurt the kids. I told him I cared about him because I was going crazy without him knowing. I was surprised by the text I got back. He cared about me too. But he didn't want to be a bad man and tell me. 

Shortly after, I went on vacation. We missed each other dearly and made that clear to each other. While I was on vacation, I got a text message from his wife basically to stop texting him. I did... for a few days. She blocked my number so I found other ways to communicate with him. Since I've been back in town we have hung out outside of work a few times. I love him so much and can't stay away from him. When his wife found out about things he told her we were just friends talking about life. He asked me not to text him anymore and I was heartbroken. Less than a week later he was texting me again. He told me he didn't care if she found out anymore. 

He tried to leave her. He went to walk out the door and his kids started screaming and crying. It absolutely broke his heart so he stayed. I hate him for the same reason that I love him. He is such a great dad. He set something up for me to meet the kids but that fell through. He "can see me wit them". 

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so in love with this man that I fear I may never have. He is EVERYTHING that I want. I've been married before, I know how this goes and I know this isn't just a fling. He is everything that I want in a husband. He says he knows what he wants and it's me. He just can't break the kids hearts. I'm so torn to pieces. He makes my heart sing. We have so much fun together. We haven't done anything romantically but we enjoy each others company often. He sweeps me off of my feet. I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't think straight without him and he always tells me he's thinking about me. I adore him and find myself wanting him more and more by the hour. 

It seems like the only way I could have him is if she found out the extent of our relationship. I have her number. I just wish I was a big enough B**** to tell her. But no, I keep letting him live his secret. I love him and I hope that one day his head comes out of his bottom because sooner or later mine will and I won't be around. 

Sorry so long. I haven't had anyone to vent to so this was it. 

MissCuriousity MissCuriousity 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 5, 2009

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Hello.. I have a question to the OP. How long did it take for him to leave for you? I hope your happiness lasts forever!

How about another update?

I'm in the same situation as u.... My heart goes out to u... The only difference is I called his wife n told her... I was @ my breaking point now its been 5 days n I haven't heard a word from him... He chose her :( now I am lost n can't get out of bed... So who wins here not the other women :( :( :( :(

I've been down this road. It is difficult and painful. I wish you the best. I hope it turns out well.

Ok, seeing as I was once the other woman, here goes:<br />
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He won't leave her to be with you. If he does at this stage, and only because of you, your relationship will be full of guilt. Not towards her, but the children.<br />
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If he loved you, he would be with you. Children involved or not.<br />
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What you have is probably an emotional affair. He is finding what he needs from you, and you viseversa. It's nice while it lasts, there doesn't seem to be any love between them, but you need to do what's best for you and not wait for him unless he can give you a solid commitment, which, while he's married, is hard.<br />
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Take a mental break from him. Make him want you. Don't contact him for a few days, as much as it hurts. It's when you take away what it is he wants, that he'll realise sooner enough what he needs to do

When you find love - like you have BOTH have it is an amazing thing. I commend him for being so honest with you and it is really great that he is staying for the kids. But no one should be a martyr for anyone else - I have learnt this the hard way. I'd like to tell you not to give up on him - but at the same time do not give up on yourself.<br />
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See you around.