In Memory Of Paulaforever,.

Paulaforever came to EP just a few days ago, battered, hurt, scared, and was just asking just for emotional support, information, and some sort of comfort. And I tried to reach out, offer her as best I could what I would do if I were in her place. Paula was not able to deal with what she was facing. And so she is lost to us.  Last night, Paula committed suicide.  Enna30 suggested, we start a group, in her memory, I agreed, that it was a wonderful idea. Because, to us, the friends we meet here matter. Their life stories matter. We take to heart what the people we come into  contact share with us... And so this is our way of reaching out to each other, and letting them reach back. 

Copy of a story. already posted by me to explain the facts

A friend that I met here, just a few days ago, has committed suicide. Her user name was Paulaforever. We met through a question that she asked. We communicated, and because of the post she wrote, I became aware of her violent history.
She had been beaten, just days before. The boyfriend was responsible for the battery, and was  temporarily in jail. Paula, did go into hiding. She gave up ownership to half of the home, just so that she could  go into hiding and not be located. She quit her job for the same reason.  But you see, you can't run from the fear inside you, the panic inside you, and  so that fear and panic took over.. 
Violent relationships, are evil, and if you know someone dealing with that type of life, please reach out, try to help and encourage them to  leave. I was only an acquaintance of Paulaforever,  through EP, and a new acquaintance, and so I  had little impact. But I am glad I at least tried.
People matter, what happens to them matters. How you treat each other matters. 

There is another victim to this story....Daveylovesyou...
.Davey and Paula were a couple at one time, and had 2 children together. Davey found out about Paula,  about the brutality in her life, tried to intervene, and was not able to. It is so very hard to see what happened to someone you care about,  the mother of your kids,and not be able to stop the madness. 


neuilly neuilly
61-65, F
9 Responses Jan 19, 2013

We will never know what went through her mind at the end; it indeed was tragic. That family lost a wife and a mother, that they cannot get back. She did not reach out soon enough. Let’s all be diligent in encouraging those that we see that seem severely depressed, to talk with someone, that is trained to handle people that condition.

The scary thing is, in this case, Paula never talked about. suicide, never threatened suicide, so no one expected this. She seemed to have a plan. She legally gave up her home, and was going to go into hiding for awhile. If Paula had mentioned suicide, perhaps she could have been talked out of it.

I know it is so very difficult in many cases, if they do not mention suicide. Have a friend that I am going to visit on Friday. Never mentioned suicide, but attempted it. Will get more details Friday. I knew she was depressed, just not how depressed.

exactly.

It's a real tragedy. I'd like to extend my condolences to her family.

Wow. Really, tragically sad!!!! Let's hope she is in a better, safer place!

I am lost for words at such a tragic waste of life....RIP Paula. X

OMG,I am sorry to read such a tragedy. My thoughts r with her family

I am very sorry to hear of this tragedy, I hope we can all remember to show compassion and support to others. I am fortunate to have supportave beautiful friends on here.

That is a tragedy; i echo your last line....People matter, what happens to them matters. How you treat each other matters.

We are a sort of community here on EP, and communities offer support to each other; lets make sure we always do.

So sorry to hear this. :(

There are more Paulas in this world than most of us realise. Their misery is a terrible tragedy and something we all need to be aware of and seek to redress.

Suicide can seem like the ONLY way out. I know this because I have been (in the past) hospitalised for suicide ideation. If I could have glimpsed at that time how WELL my life would turn out later, I would never have considered ending my own life.

But of course, it is very hard (often impossible) to glimpse the future in anything but the most awful way, when you are suffering from these thoughts and feelings. If ANYONE is feeling like this, please please REACH OUT for help. If ANYONE knows someone who is, please please REACH OUT to help. Help IS there - and though it feels useless and not worth the effort, it truly IS worth it.

Domestic violence is a boil on the face of humanity. And this is just ONE of the many things that can lead people to despair. As Neui so wisely says, PEOPLE MATTER.
Each and everyone of us needs to find ways to reach out to those in need and help to avoid Paula's tragedy happening to anyone else - either here in cyber space or in real life.

Rest in peace, Paula.

Thank you enna....she would have liked you..

i agree she would have liked her am sure she loved having u to talk to she had a tough life we got together at a very young age of her16 i was20 but we fell in love had 2 children both her parents dead months apart of each other as she turned 20 she than got very sick and pulled through it than 2 years after she tolld me she loved me but was no longer in love with me and we decided to split it killed me but we stayed top mates for a long time than she met someone else and as time passed she stopped any contact with me but now i know she was made to do this i last seen her 4 years ago but she was with mark and didnt really say much she looked so scared and kept looking at mark as she spoke i was so shocked she was far from the happy cheerfull paula i knew but it wasnt my place to say or do a thing than a few weeks ago i bumped into a mate who said am sorry to hear whats happened to paula mate me not having a clue what he on about said what u on about he told me god i felt sick i went to her house her works not there didnt have her new number so couldnt ring i finally got her at home 2 days later and she didnt look like the same person she was so thin god u could count every belt mark on her body a big busted lip a buckle print on one of her cheeks i felt so sick inside she wouldnt answer anything i asked her i pleaded with her to get away from it all and out t the house and move in with me but she said no leave me alone just go and i did at this point shout at her which i deeply regret doing god she must have had years of that than theres me doing the same am so sorry r.i.p. paula born 06.10.1973 till 18.01.2013

Davey...thank you for sharing..i did not want to share your name,until you spoke..in respect of your privacy..but i will now add you to my story...

a 1000 hugs...and know that you did your best.

thank you for saying that...thank you for caring.

So very young! Less than a year older than my own daughter. My heart belleds for you, Davey, for her children, and for all who loved her.

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