My Journey...part One: The Prelude...

I have spent much of my life believing I am flawed, not just that I had flaws, which I can accept, but that there was fundamentally flawed. I grew up in a very conservative christian home. I was taught that anyone that was different was 'of satan' and that they where going to hell.I accepted the duelistic view point until I turned 17. I struggled in the conventional learning enviroment that prevails in our schools today. I was liabled add and told I was learning disabled. It turned out on the tests I had a high IQ, but, my thinking processes where nonsequential. In other words, I didn't fit into a neat box. In 1987, soon after that years harmonic convergence, I had a 180 degree turn in my thinking. I became aware of the suffering of the world and I became an atheist. I think that this was an important time in my spiritual developement because I abandoned the beliefs of my parents and of the dogma I was steeped in. In college I felt like I actually belonged. I was learning new stuff and talking to people who understood me. I joined a UU church and they had a forum. The view of most of the people there where very rationalistic. I went from one extreme to another, from a rigid, legalistic, religion to a rationalistic, scientific thought process. Then, I fell back into the dogma again, I joined the catholic church because a woman whom I liked told me I would be a good Jesuit. So, I became a catholic, even though I had a hard time accepting the belief system. I went to confession, mass every day, and prayed the rosary. It wasn't because of fear, but, because I was tring to connect to the divine. Then, in 1994, I began to see the interconnectedness of everything. I saw syncrinicity every where. That's when my true Journey began. Everything up to that point was a prelude to what I was about to experience. Next: Part two.
JRW1970 JRW1970
41-45
Nov 29, 2012