Soul Separation

I don't understand it. Living on this plane of existence has been difficult. I've grown, learned, changed, accepted. I still don't feel as though I belong here. I haven't tried Astral Travel in years. It worked but, I stopped for some reason I don't recall.

I've recently come back to meditation, not as often as I'd like to but, I must require some grounding, for the last few days my soul has been trying to leave me... while I'm wide awake.

The only way I can describe it from prior experience is that moment between sleep and wake, where I used to "slip." It's the only think I could call it. I'd be laying horizontally, suddenly find myself at a precipice, "slip" off the edge shocked back to wakefulness and find myself physically shifted.

The past few days, it's happened at least 3 times, I "slip" while walking around. Something pulls my eyes shut and lifts me up for just a moment... and it's over.

I'm wondering if this has anything to do with those mushrooms I ate 3 weeks ago. I was staring up into the heavens and feeling the beauty and understood that every star in the universe represents a spirit. Those spirits are eternal and patiently watch the universe go by, taking in all it's beauty, as only one with millions of years to spare can.

I wanted so desperately to join them. I even thought about killing myself for a moment... As a grounded human being, I decided to wait and see if I still felt the same way in the morning. I am with them, even here but, I don't want to be here anymore. It's strange, maybe my soul knows what it wants and is trying to escape. Perhaps soon, I'll just drop dead, another medical mystery. It's scary to think the body could continue on without the soul. Who would "I" be if I am not here?
Dracena Dracena
22-25, F
2 Responses Jan 13, 2013

I also have memories as a child from the perspective of seeing myself as if out of body in moments of intense emotion.
And as an adult I have memories imprinted in my mind again from the perspective of watching myself in a intense situation. Seems to be like when I have experienced intense emotions I have briefly come out of myself maybe subconsiously or on an energy level or even soul.
It makes sense they say "out of body experience" when it comes to an intense situation or trauma or when performers perform on stage

I understand this to be the higher self becoming more present in the reality
And it's this higher self that resonates to me as God that we all have a higher self.
I think the way we have been taught and conformed to be blind to our inner god so much to the point we struggle to understand it, ourselves and one another
This is how the rich mortals of each generation has wanted it.
They don't want us to know because then our world will change and we will no longer be modern slaves

Have you ever looked at unravelling your origins?