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My Selfish Indulgence

Now then, let's be honest about this, I was born Male. Yep, I came complete with all the attachments. Little did I know at this time that in amongst all of those excited little wiggly critters that swam around in that sticky mess that made me, one of those guys had a whoopsy. I must take this opportunity to point out that the attachments I came with have given me and continue to give me lots and lots and lots of pleasure, not to mention three strong healthy boys, the youngest of whom is now almost twenty. I am not upset by these attachments at all and am not about to trade them in for the inverted model. I have used these attachments to give pleasure to several women, not to mention, Me, Myself and I.

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Please forgive this small deviation from my story. As I sit here writing, I am looking at the screen as the words fall. My attention is being Very distracted, by the little photo at the top left. White slip, black stockings and just a little flesh. Yes my Friend, Beautiful. You can be Very proud of that one. I am going to enjoy writing this story.
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From a very early age, I knew that I was fascinated with girls. I loved the way they looked and wanted to look, just the same. I was always taught to respect girls and saw them as beings, well above my simple mortality. I liked to dress up, as soon as I could afford to. This had its up side and down. I wrestled with my desires, needs, wants and the thing that really had me tossed, sexuality. I stocked myself up with clothing, wigs and make up, then purged the lot in my early twenties.

I know that I don't have to explain what "purging" is. The little boy bits and the girly bit were having a major sort out in my head. I knew that what I was doing was not normal and was therefore Wrong. I promised myself that I would not even Think of dressing in anything other than male clothing. Yep, I think I lasted almost two whole weeks. I fully re-stocked and purged twice more in my twenties. I also got married in the middle of all that. Oh, Yes, I did tell my wife about it before we were married. That is another story for another day.

I struggled through my thirties and into my forties. During these three decades, I did have some really great times, including going out and having various other sexual exploitations. (No, I am not going into that right now. I'll let your minds boggle for a while longer yet on those stories.) As I was heading towards forty, my marriage broke up and I was forced to live apart from my boys. Thank goodness for my love of slips, bras and panties. If it is possible to collate this, my sanity was saved largely by my indulgence. For a while, I even thought of changing sides. I was pretty messed up. I am pleased to say that I kept my attachments, though they did get quite a work out. Through all this time I struggled with my self. I have always wanted to have other people like me, (hmmm .... like me ???? , that's a hard one..... perhaps, male people with similar situations, thoughts, feelings and desires.) to talk to and interact with.

I am Not upset that I am Male. I have always been honest and open with the women in my life and told them of my desires. I am jealous of those whose wives are accepting of their desires but am also happy with my own situation. I have begun to enjoy and accept my Selfish Indulgence and wish I could have done so when I was younger, with a body that was acceptable to show off in short skirts, see through things and low cut tops (not that I Ever had anything to show but padding).

My Indulgence in the love of slips, petticoats, stockings, (yes, pantyhose too but stockings are just ..... Mmmm ) bras, panties and even thermal undies (which I also wear in winter) is, without doubt, completely Selfish. It is My desire. I do it for Me. I involve others, when it comes to shopping and the many other things I do but it is all about Me. This was My genetic whoopsy that brings Me, so much satisfaction. It is Me that enjoys sharing it with you and Me that gets a buzz from your interaction. At this time in my life, I can safely say that this has nothing to do with my boys, my friends, my family or my social contacts. I am free to explore and enjoy My indulgences as much as I desire. I have fully accepted who I am and what I like. No more purging. I very much love the feel of the nylon granny panties I am wearing right now and look forward to telling you lots more in the future. Thank you for reading my story.
michelletaite michelletaite 56-60, M 6 Responses May 29, 2012

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<p>We are sisters brother. Your story and feelings so closely relate to my own. But what a joy to have those wonderful feminine things nearby that allow my girly side to just enjoy the wonderfully silky girly magic buzz they represent and give, to just explore there wonderful delights, to just be me despite all the attachments I too have. </p><p>I have purged way to many times, and always *** back, restocking my stash with panties and bras and slips and nylons and nighties and dresses and heels and wigs and on and on. I love it, to just have some free time to indulge in dressing up like a girl, a woman. To see and feel my breasts under my slip and dress, to allow my hands to drift across a pretty silky dress and sense the slip and lovely panties underneath, to cross my legs hearing the swish of my nylons, the silkiness as they cross each other, to see the lace of my slip appear wonderfully below the hem of my dress, to sense the wonderment as a breeze plays with my pleated skirts, to hear the sound of my heels as I walk, to just stand silently, close my eyes and feel the wonderment of the clothing I am wearing, I feel complete, I feel totally feminine and I LOVE it. To slip into some wonderful silky full cut panties, a bra, a soft silky nightie and maybe nylons too, to slip under the sheets and caress my 'attachement' softly and so enjoying the feeling of the la<x>yers of silky nylon sliding over it...I am in Heaven...I am Me.</p>

Where do you live, would love tp get together.

Melbourne, Australia. I would love to meet another cross dresser. I think it would be great to just sit and chat for a while. After that ..... who knows?

do you share yhe 'me' or do you keep it to yourself?

I relate 100% will write more about it soon thanks for adding me. Have fun!!!!!!

yes, exactly, I have purged at least twice, but no more! when I think of the lovely things I've thrown away that aren't made anymore that I can never replace, its so disappointing. but anyhow, whatever your situation, just enjoy what you enjoy, it stinks to have to hide it, but its better to be able to do it than not at all! cheers all!

I totally agree. There are times when I don't want to know about my cross dressing but then, when I do, it is Soooo worthwhile.

Michelle, Such a story straight from your heart. Many of us crossdressers have gone through the purge and rebuild a wardrobe