Time For Round Two..When I was 16 i was pretty badly depressed.. that was 2 years ago.. I knew something was wrong with me about 3 or 4 months ago.. ya see i'm in the middle of a negative circle.. school and home. I don't blame anybody though, it's out of our control.
Today was an intense day at school. After 20 days off school for the holidays I returned not looking foward to it at all.. I had an intense conselling session and I even broke down in tears for the first time in so long.. the tears didn't last long but they were there.. My counsellor has helped me realise that Christmas triggers off alot of bad things for me.. (death of my grandmother, sexual abuse..) Anyway he believes I can make it through this again.
I always have one teacher I know I can rely on, he's my favourite teacher. I went to his classroom for our usual chat and ended up opening up to him. He is a better motivational speaker than I thought. After that convo I feel like he is the one person I can go to if i'm having a bad day and just need a hug.
This time the depression is different. I have my good days and my bad days. It just happens that lately I have more bad days than good but i'm trying. I havn't seen my friends in months because i've isolated myself, not necessarily on purpose. I don't talk as much as I used to but I make jokes at school so people won't notice that i'm depressed. I'm the class clown ya see..
I feel frustrated because I went through this before so I know it's going to be a bumpy road..
Let's just hope that eventually I have more good days than bad..
Thanks for reading :)
deleted 26-30 2 Responses 0 Jan 10, 2011