Confused

i had an experience with a friend when i was 13 male ,my friend and i stole a ***** mag from the corner store and went into the hayloft on a farm my parents owned, we had candles wich now that i think about it was rather crazy, we started reading and looking at the naked women and were really turned on we never seen this before, anyway my friend jumped me and we started to wrestle, he grabed at my **** and i resisted,i was kinda embarresed so i grabed at his **** and got ahold of it ,it was so hard and felt real good we stopped wrestling and he said flop out your **** and i will suck it! i was very shy and said no, and that was that,years went by we went our ways, when i was about 20 we renewed our friendship and he kept on mentioning do you remember the time in the hayloft,i said yes abit embarressed, this same conversation has gone on for years until about 3 years ago i was 48 and this time i brought it up, i told him that i wished we did something back then, i told him i would of let him suck it if we could go back in time, he said nothing i was a bit surprised because at this time after years about thinking of this i would have let him and i would of sucked his to, but i was dissappointed about a year latter i brought some **** to his house and we watched it his lady friend was away and i thought this may be a good oportunity to mabe get something going,so we watched for awhile and he said to me if you want to jerk off i will get you a blanket to cover up! i said will you jerk off to? he said no, i was very disapointed,i really wanted to suck and be sucked by him, i did not mention to that im married for the last 7 years, anyhow the reason im writing this is that i totally love getting my **** sucked and i love the looks of ***** love watching them get sucked,anyhow my wife sucks me one or two times a week and lets me *** in her mouth but it is kind of hurried, because i dont want her to get tired so the session only last about 15 min, i wish it to last way longer and i think that the only way i could get my **** sucked a long time is to get a guy to suck it! i am not really attracted to men but love there *****, and would love to do 69 with a guy but no kissing or anal i think this is so gross, would love to fondle and jerk off a guy and suck thats all, does this make me gay or what because im trully a ***** lover, anyone else out there like me?

johnrapin johnrapin
51-55, M
Feb 18, 2010