Too Big For My Boots?

I grew up in the outskirts of a major Canadian town.  All my life I was told repeatedly that I was bright, with a sub-text that this was not such a good thing.  My younger sister, who was smaller, blonde and cuter, was held up as the standard of "normal".  When she brought home Bs she was praised for all her effort.  My Bs were cause for shame since I had so much more potential.  As were expected.

Grade 7 & 8 brought "enriched program" with nine special projects all due the same week.  I had intelligence but not the time management skills for this.  People expected bright kids to figure that out intuitively.

I started Grade 9 at age 12, with hair in braids, no makeup, flat shoes.  I finally found the bright guys at school and hung with them until graduation.  Forty years later, I am still in touch with two of them.   One is a minister and one is a toymaker.

In university, of course (because of course I was going to university - it was never a question),  everyone was bright, and I was really happy for the first time in my life.  I married a guy who was brighter than me and we had a kid who is just as bright as both of us.  Then he drifted off, leaving behind his son and a daughter and I married another guy who was brighter than me and bright enough to stay.  He joined MENSA just to see if he could, and once he was in, I had to try, too, as did my step-daughter.   We all made it. 

In this day and age people are taught to be proud of their heritage, their culture, their orientation, but not intelligence.  As females, my daughter and I still frequently feel the best use we can make of how smart we are is to hide it from our bosses who are threatened when we let it peep out.  She and I both also have very high emotional intelligence by standarized tests.

MENSA makes it OK to be like this.  When we have family dinners we joke that it is a mini west-end MENSA supper club.   When we go to MENSA events in our area, we feel completely relaxed.  And that alone is worth the price of admission.

I haven't told my younger sister that I am in the club.