Once upon a time a man was walking down the street. He saw an ancient oil lamp in an ash can and thinking of the Aladdin legend, he picked it up and rubbed it. Sure enough, out popped a genie. "Master, I shall now grant you one wish." The man spoke, his eyes bulging with desire. "I wanna be rock hard and get plenty of a$$ for the rest of my life!" The genie obediently turned him into a toilet.