What To Do When You Find Out Your Holy Faith, Is Corrupt..

I understand, although my own experience was a bit different.

I was raised to be a good little Jewish girl. But I was also raised to be an intelligent, free-thinker with the ability to see beyond outside appearances. I'll bet you can get the jist of my disillusionment easily from here.

I feel profound sadness for you as my disillusionment wasn't so acute. Rather it grew over many, many years and much searching through basically every sacret text I could get my hands on.

I don't profess to know more than the next guy or have a better belief system because I think that the Universe gives us all what we can handle and what we need.

I once had someone tell me a parable about a man confused about his religious beliefs who runs to the woods yelling "the Christians say it's them, the Jewish people say it's them, the Buddhists say it's them, etc" and he asks "Who is right?" All he hears is YES.

I'm just paraphrasing the story of course, as it's much longer, but it was told to me when I was just 13 and so began my search.

I pick and choose what I feel the Universe is giving to me. I believe in a Being greater than myself, yet don't choose to give It a name. I believe it's so profoundly beyond the capability and understanding of the human mind that we'd probably go crazy if we even caught a glimpse of the Truth.

I love the practice of High Magick and Qabalah now, but tomorrow I may have different ideas.

I love the Sikh way of life and don't have too many qualms with their scriptures and practices, yet don't know how welcome I'd be at the local Sikh Temple. I would SO love to go.

I love chanting Hare Krishna at the Krishna Temple and staying for Prasad, but because I'm unable to spend Sundays at the temple I feel guilty showing up so rarely as it's too far to travel regularly.

I functioned well in our local Unitarian Universalist Church until I realized that the politics were almost as bad as the Jewish temple I'd previously belonged to.

Anyway.... maybe this is your G-d sending you a sign. Maybe you're supposed to open you mind to more. Not everyone can do either stay within a religious sect and/or scurry out into the vast darkness in search of Truth....but as I see it, you aren't going to feel nurtured, safe or spiritually filled either way, so what's the harm in trying to find out what G-d wants from you?

Seems like a message to me. Ask & it shall be given, Seek & you will find, Knock and the door will open.....

I don't think finding Truth and/or finding our Sacred roots is as easy as sitting in church on Sunday.

And because your trust is lost..... Trust that even though the G-d you were raised to believe in doesn't feel right, there IS Something out there MUCH bigger, Much more profound than any scripture could convey.

It's an amazing feeling when that Truth comes.

Congratulations on liberating your mind from deceit.

All religions, without exception, come from men who claim some divine inspiration or guidance. i am not arguing against personal revelation, but religions. Religion is the hearsay of another persons religious experience.

It's very telling, that each have their own interpretation. That one interpretation is not confirmed by another.

Scientific interpretations, conversely, require independent verification of someone else's interpretation before they are accepted.

This is the difference between religion and science. With religion, I can say that a hurricane is the result of sin - and no-one challenges that interpretation. On the other hand, if I say it's the result of warm air rising here, and cold air currents there - then a whole bunch of research organisations will check out every detail of my statement, looking for the truth.

Religion prophesies the end times - but the date keeps changing, as do the signs that are meant to presage it. And no-one cares.

Science predicts daybreak will be a t 7:17am tomorrow. And it will be.

If you argue with reality, you will lose. But only 100% of the time.

I'm sad you have this feeling of betrayal, I'm sad that you have so much of your life's energy and time wasted on meaningless ritual, and mythological drivel.

I hope you can look forward to a bright, clear-eyed and conscious future.

Best of luck!