Enough Is Enough

I HATE EVERYTHING right now!!!

My Love  just called and told Me that the bank have returned the cheque to the new barn as there wasnt enough in the acct to cover it. Ive been too scared to even dare look at the balance this week as I feared the worst and We havent spent a cent since having to spend the $200 on Fils on sunday, which I also knew wasnt in there. I hate to think how overdrawn We are and have just called the dentist to cancel My appointment for monday to get the temporary crown put on My tooth as We just dont have the $350 for that, even though another piece of it chipped off last night. *sigh*

We still have to find $250 by the middle of this month for that bloody heart monitor medical bill which has now been put in the hands of a debt collection agency.

The atmosphere here is awful right now.. one roommate has gone off to Chicago for a week and I only found that out because I texted her the other night to find out why she didn't come home from work.. nice that she didn't even bother to tell Us she was going away and she didn't leave her part of the rent as she FORGOT! The other one seems to have been fired and has gone back to spending all her time in her monkey house smelling room roleplaying until 5am! Often when He has to leave for work at 5.30am she is STILL on the computer roleplaying and doesn't wake up til mid-day. she had a damn good job at the travel agents and ****** it up by not going in too many times.. she hasnt even had the balls to tell Us yet she's been fired and instead keeps lying to Me about it because she thinks she can as I dont understand how things work here. I have no idea how she is going to come up with next months rent and I am DREADING her daughter returning to this house again.

It is KILLING Him that He now MUST sell Gypsy and soon as We know no other way to even try to get out of this hole We are in and then three quarters of what We get, if not all of it, will end up going on the $8000 worth of dental work I need, let alone the remaining medical bills lingering from the winter that werent paid by My CRAP insurance that first roommate has to pay for and holds it against Me all the time.. bringing it up at every opportunity. I have no money left to My name.. none at all and can do nothing about anything.

Due to all this stress I have been having more frequent and sharp chest/heart pains and of course We cant afford to get those investigated either. I have been living on cereal with WATER on it this week as We couldnt even afford to buy a carton of milk and yet there are two people who live here running up the electric roleplaying their lives away who DONT CARE. they dont care if We have nothing, if the cats are sick, that He is having to give up on His lifelong dream of owning a horse.. a horse I bought Him to make that dream come true!

I swear, if it wouldnt destroy Him completely I would end My life right now just to be free of this stress as I feel I have no control over anything except My weight and what pills I put into My body..

I just give up. There is nobody to turn to now, nowhere We can get money and rent is due today too.. I just dont know what to do.

He badly needs some new clothes but hasnt been able to spend any money on even one new pair of trousers for months and its killing Me that He has to get up at 4.45am five mornings a week and work hard everyday and see less than none of His wages because nobody that lives here apart from Me gives a ****!!!

I ******* hate the world right now and its taking all the restraint I have not to go and punch the wall hard.. but that would bring another medical bill We cant afford.

**** IT ALL!!!
alabastardragon alabastardragon
36-40, M
8 Responses Aug 3, 2007

We are having to sell Gypsy yes :-( I hope My teeth can last until We do though.

I almost cried when I read this. I feel so bad for you and him. Did you have to sell Gypsy? :( *sniff* I know how it is with dental, as my teeth have cost approx $10,000 the past year and a half alone. I hope things get better for you.

thanks.. things have changed since I posted that, but not in a good way. *sigh* We need a break BIG TIME

Holy ****. I'm sorry that your having a hard time. I hate that life can be such a ***** sometimes, and usually to most of the good people too. You can message me to vent if you want.

No, I dont qualify for anything.. I am in the process of immigrating so cant even get any benefits. :-(

My dear, I feel awful for what you are going through and I hope that positive energy finds your way soon and lasts quite a long time. Hang in there, something good is bound to happen soon.

thank you for your kind words.. I dont know of any free clinics but I have an appointment on tuesday with the surgeon who operated on Me in April as My scars arent healing properly and hurt all the time so probably need another lot of steroid injections. :-(

I am so sorry you are going through so much. ;[ I wish I could make it better. Isn't there any free clinics near where you live? I don't like the sounds of the way your health is going. I couldn't hope to understand even a little bit of how hard it must be, but if there's anything I could do, you know you can msg me. I hope anything and everything in your life gets better really soon, b/c it sounds like you could really use it. Hope it gets easier to take care of yourself soon. =]