It's My Heart, But Go Ahead, Have Another Piece...

The last moments of our conversation keep repeating in my head like a grainy like old 8mm film, and like a dream. Did that really happen 12 hours ago? I want to feel nothing, and I continue to tell myself this. But it's not going to happen, and I can't sleep, or breathe, and honestly even the smallest movement seems like a monumental task. Why does it always come to this? When I did close my eyes, and finally sleep a couple of hours, I thought for sure that there would be something from you...a call, an sms, an email....something....something to tell me you need me as much as I need you; something to tell me you can't sleep either. But it's not there. Do I give in yet again?
Why am I so powerless with you? I've never allowed someone to have this kind of hold on me, and I hate the helplessness it makes me feel. I just wish I could go to sleep, and check out until this feeling passes, but I can't even relax enough to do that. I know in a few hours, I'll come crawling back, like I always have, and always will. Because like I said, I do need you, and the world is mute and dull without you. I love you.
Redux8002 Redux8002
31-35, M
May 18, 2012