Dirty Secrets

So you're expecting to read a story about something wrong with my life. That's what you'll get.. You ever have those days that just completely suck? I have a lot of those. I'm not an attention seeker so don't get that in your head, please. Anyways, about that day that just sucks. Everyone has that one person in their life that if disappointed by them, it truly means a lot. I have someone special in my life. Otherwise known as a 'significant other'. We were were doing great. Until I started getting insecure. I'd see prettier girls and think I wish I looked like them. I was so scared they he might take advantage. It's a gut feeling, or jealousy, in most people thinking that they're going to get cheated on. The worst part is knowing you were right. Found out everything. I was dumb enough to forgive. I just never forgot. From that day on I was depressed, sad. Wondering why I hadn't just let go of him when I should have. Now I'm too into him. You know who cares, right? Well after that we started fighting and he called me names and said things that would hurt a typical persons feelings. Coming from him, it just hit that spot in me and I broke down and kept asking what's wrong with me. And this weren't the only reason i was upset. I had few friends and i knew few people liked me. People at school are mean to me
Still to this day. I just couldn't take it, maybe everybody will be sorry if I were dead, you know? I got the pair of scissors that were next to me and I just slid it across my skin as hard as I could to get the deepest cut. This was so I wouldn't have to deal with anything anymore. If I died. I'd be happy. But all I did was pass out. Woke up. Darn. I just feel so alone. That nobody likes me. Since then I've tried suicide multiple times, cut myself more and more, been depressed, more anxiety. There's no other way. I'm just not happy.
An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 13, 2013

you should'nt feel insecure about yourself, you are beautiful. you really are. maybe you should talk to your bf about how you feel? and you should'nt lissten to whatever he said. maybe you should talk to a teacher at your school? if you ever need to talk you can just message me.

Happiness is what you make of it. What other people think about you doesn't even matter. You have to improve your own self image to start. From there you can begin to build your own self confidence and improve things for yourself. Keep your head u.
And remember no matter what, you are beautiful .