How Can Some Family Members Be So Cruel!

I am 44 just about to be 45, I lived in Mo. for most of my life due to my mother abandoning me and my 2 other siblings when I was in 6th grade. We lived with our father and I am very grateful for that..he is the best father anyone could ask for. My mother did let my oldest sister go back and live with her but not me or my brother. I tried moving back with her when I was 15 but that only lasted a year and I wound up going back with my dad. Since then I have found out that I have a lot of heart problems that can't be fixed, it is scary but it is my reality. I have had 2 heart surgeries and have had a pacemaker/defibulator put in. I now live back in the same town as my mother and sister with my youngest daughter. But since my last surgery my mom and sister have treated me like a burden just because I needed help after my surgery, like being taken to dr. appointments because I couldn't drive yet, and the store, ect... Last October in 2011 I was walking through the parking lot to see my dr. and my heart just stopped and I died. My mom and sister and the rest of my family from Mo. came to see me because the drs. didn't think I would make it. But thank God for my daughters sake I did. My problem is that when I moved here my mom put me on her phone plan because I have to have a phone with me at all times just in case anything happens. I had my own phone to begin with so I didn't need a new one so we just put me on the plan, I paid my bills on time every month, then one month they said I owed over 100 dollars and I knew something had to be wrong, so I asked for proof of it from my mother and she wouldn't give it to me..so I kept at her for the proof with no reply except that that is what I owe..so I finally told her if she didnt' show me proof that I wasnt going to pay for it and I would get my own phone..she finally showed me the paper work and my bill was only $29.49 dollars. So I was mad and let her and my sister who is on the same plan know about it, I mean who wouldnt be mad and say something. Now they wont talk to me or my daughter..what have I done that is so wrong to be treated this way. The thing that hurts most is that my oldest daughter lives in Mo. and is expecting and is due in January of 2013, but this Thanksgiving my mom and my sister went to Mo for Thanksgiving and to have my daughters baby shower, but neither one of them would offer me a ride for the get together for Thanksgiving or my own daughter's baby shower knowing that my own car wont make it. That hurt's, has anyone else ever had to deal with this..I just need to find out if I am the only one going through something like this.
mdss mdss
41-45, F
1 Response Dec 12, 2012

I don't know how people can live with themselves when they do things like this to people.What is their attitude when someone treats them the same way.Double standards?
I am amazed at the way some people can justify their selfish,unpleasant behaviour,but when it happens to them,they are angry and hurt so the rules change.Don't they ever take a look at how they are and why they expect to be treated well when they are not that person themselves?
I have had several very bad experiences in recent years helping family and people I thought were good friends.The first was when I was working on my friends new home and they ran out of money so they asked me to finish it up on a handshake because they needed to get final by a certain deadline or lose the house.I completed $31,000 worth of work on credit because they promised me they would sell the house when it was completed and pay me along with a .75% bonus based on what they sold the house for,for helping them out of a bad situation.I worked 15 hour days till late at night for several months and actually made the deadline and they got their final.Now they could sell the place and pay me and a few other people.The house was valued at over a million dollars but when they would get an offer,they would simply refuse it and even raised the selling price several times.They did not want to sell and make good on the money they owed so they squatted ,eventually taking the house off the market altogether.When I would ask about that and the money they owed me,they would get extremely nasty and push me away.Bottom line is;they lied to me and when I needed to collect,they just blew me off.I had only known this older couple for a few years and trusted them.It was only through some old ex friends of theirs that I heard the real truth about these people.I did not know them at all like I thought I did.The wife had her previous home in Alaska burned down to collect the insurance because she wanted a bigger home.She was also arrested for cocaine smuggling at LAX.It is rumored that she even had a part in her ex husbands murder (drug deal gone bad).He was not much better than her and was a thief and drug smuggler as well.This is the last thing I would have believed about this couple based on my experience knowing them.But it did explain some thefts I experienced living with them that only they could have done because they had a key to my apartment but I couldn't believe they would be involved.
So it all ended ugly and I never got paid and of course they started terrible rumors about me as if they had to not only cheat me,but destroy my reputation as well to take focus off of them.(We shared the same circle of friends) Nobody suspected them of being liars,cheats and of low character because they put on a good act.That's how they fooled me. It's been 5 years since and I know I will never see a dime of what they owe me,but it still eats away at me like a cancer and I cannot forget it.It changed me in the way that I am very hesitant to help people when money is involved.I hate to be this way,but I cannot take another experience like that again.I am always a giver and will help out people to a certain degree without expecting anything in return,but this was a nightmare and I cannot re-live it.I wonder how people can look at themselves in the mirror,knowing what they are.