Attempt #18...

Ok dokey... here we go on Attempt #18 to end my unhealthy relationship. It has been two hours since I talked to my "weakness". My goal this time is TWO WHOLE DAYS! Surely I can do two days with out speaking/texting/e-mailing him. If I stay busy and try not to think about the situation too much? I wish I could be in a mini-coma for a couple of days, to get the ball rolling and sever the contact. I honestly feel like if I can make it a significant amount of time I really CAN cut the strings and finally be free from this (very) unhealthy relationship. I need to do this. Why am I so self destructive? Why do I need this man to make me feel good about myself? Because no one else does? What about taking responsibility for my own happiness and ME making me feel good? Yeah, what about that? What can I do to take responsibility for being happy/content/not hating life? Maybe I will think about THAT, instead of about the WIMPY JERK that I am trying to ditch. That sounds productive!!!
TessieMae65 TessieMae65
46-50, F
4 Responses Jun 1, 2011

While I hope you were able to accomplish your goal... I would offer the adage that finding the one that will truly be wonderful to you begins with you. I hope you do find that mate that connects with you. The love of MY life is every bit my soulmate... my twin flame and the greatest love I have ever known. Everyone deserves to know the joy I have after a lifetime of abuse. I hope you find YOURS.

Nearly 36 hours! I have come close to caving in, but have stayed strong. Praying that tomorrow will be just a bit easier. And the day after will be better, and the day after that, etc., etc. 36 hours-- wow. New record for me.

I wish you good luck with this.

11 hours and counting! I am nearly half way to being a "whole day" with out him! Sigh.... resolve still strong. Sleep should take up another 6 or 7 hours, then the morning will be busy and before I know it, it will be lunch time and a whole day will have passed!