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Just Got Dumped By a Married Man

Well you guessed it I`m feeling pretty bad about right now! Inever thought this could happen to me,why did I believe all the bull, love is over rated!I have not let anybody in my life for 7 yrs.BOOM! when I do I get used, by none the less a freakin married man!now what? I dont believe I`ll ever trust again.
onedge39 onedge39 36-40, F 55 Responses Mar 28, 2007

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I've never understood why anyone dates someone that is already married/dating. If they would cheat to be with you, then they would cheat on you. Equals a non-trustworthy person. Never worth it!

Every one makes mistakes. Relationships wither it is legitimate or not, is complicated. Marriage is sacred and because of it there are boundaries that we must never cross because the end result is always detrimental to our spirits. Ladies no one here is suggesting that these women who got involved with a MM seek God's grace and forgiveness. Only he can give you peace. No Blog Can. God is a God of Justice and we must realize that we get back what we put out ..some times ten time worse. Some call it Karma...but really it is God's Judgment. To often we do things in our life without thinking about others....thinking (quite foolishly ) we will get away. Forget about the MM...he will get his portion...where it be prostate cancer whatever we don't know... least he surrender to God and do the right thing for God's mercy is for everybody. But for now check your self ...seek forgiveness from the almighty and ask him to send someone for you. Ase 0

I think the biggest loosers are those wifes who really take back their husband for cheating on them and then knowing that they cheated on other woman as well, I mean you questioning the other woman for being cruel to the wife etc, but has anybody thought to punish the man who is having the real fun, he gets out of marriage, uses other woman physically and emotionally, and then has all audacity to say sorry to his wife and he is taken back by that super respectful woman. Wow, I equally hate those wifes for promoting such nonsense. Be a real woman. He is cruel to all woman. Trust me the wifes, he is always going to cheat you, just you get to see different woman to abuse throughout your life for spoiling your marriage. Stop that piece of **** you have married to by filing divorce and asking huge compensation and alimony on grounds of infidelity. he will never dare to mess up with a woman again. And the other women please never sulk alone, make him pay for it by filing a lawsuit of sexual harassment. He will be screwed up for life.

why would anyone blame the "other woman" for the affair....the guy is married, so obviously , he is the dirtbag from the start and not always honest, then they get you "hooked" on them, and then you find out the truth....the truth is, they need to get unmarried, as their wives and marriages don't mean much to them if this is what they are doing. They are the ones who need the help and they deserve to be alone!

Are you sure you were dumped?? What did he say? How did he break it off?

This is addressed to Theemrs (who blocked her link so others cannot reply to her) if she ever has the guts to return on this website:
Well, there, you sure are angry! Tell me this: did he dump you for a smarter, younger and more attractive woman? If the answer is yes, then you have the right to be angry with him, not with her. If the answer is no, perhaps you need to find a real man! When you are insulting someone, expect retaliation: ugly old Mrs. Cow!!

Because he wasn't married when he was with you. Chances are he still isn't, he is seeing someone else. That's what hurts

You women are pathetic, no self esteem, low standard trash. How dare any if you ***** to the world about being "dumped" by a married man? Are you serious? You deserve the pain you feel and no sympathy. I hope your heartache consumes you and makes such devastating dents in your hearts that not a day goes by without you remembering. Think about the wives that they promised to love honor and cherish in front of friends and family, think about the children who are missing their daddies cause they're laid up with some trifling *****! and your crying about him breaking his bullshit promises to you? Get a ******* clue and some self love to go along with it. Cows! 🐮

I just couldn't believe this comment! You dear, before you judge anyone else, YOU will at some point in life fall in desperate love with a married man and then we will see what you will be saying! Anything can happen in life, those women who suffer with the whole "married man" affair, are not trash and the whole point is that when you are so in love you can't stop this whole thing! Otherwise there'd be no problems and everyone would be happy! But sometimes life puts us in circumstances that we didn't expect. If you just trash every woman who happens to fall in love with a married guy, than one day you will experience it yourself, and we will laugh!

Theemrs you will never know what it's like to be the other woman. How sick you must be to wish that type of heartache on a person.

The truth is that get too close to the fire, you get burned. People with unstable values, low self discipline and volatile emotions take unwise and irresponsible risks, following their impulses without thinking about the circumstances or pressures which have pushed them towards this chaotic behaviour. Unfortunately, your actions in having an affair with a married person involve huge risks for yourself and everyone else concerned. Grow up a bit, try to sort yourself out and get a psychologist/counsellor to help you put some order into your life. The world will be an easier place for yourself and others if you do.

The truth is that you most likely got dumped yourself and now you are taking it on others. The most avid person against falling in love with married person is the one who does it!! So, how many times have you cheated on your spouse or lover and got dumped? Oops, you don’t even remember. Girls, all married men are nothing but trash, and their wives are either stupid, insecure, greedy for husband\'s money, or plain trash themselves! And those who are using bad language against you are nothing but cheap insecure idiots! Best: do not share your feelings on the Internet and be happy in life! Good luck to you all: cheaters, mistresses and gigolos!

You know having someone else's husband isn't right. Now you make it sound like that it is all his fault. Find someone of your own.

I just got dumped last night by a married man one day after I had his name tattooed on my arm. I'm so hurt.

you waited 7 years for "the one" and you picked a married guy???? and now you're having trust issues????? WOW. There is only one major trust issue I see going on here, and that's in trusting yourself to respect yourself.

You need to set better standards and expectations for yourself. Of course you don't trust anyone! Why would you? YOU can't be trusted to make choices that are good for you. and you're you! why would you trust a total stranger?

Girlfriend. seriously. the issues are with you, not others. I'm sorry that you're hurting right now tho :(

I wish all you women that feel its ok to mess with married men knew the heartache you cause to the wife.Your on here telling about your hurt,yet you dont seem to care about what this does to the wife or the children of these marrages.It hurts you that he has gone back to his wife?Oh thats ok then lets all feel sorry for you taking what didnt belong to you in the first place.Personally I think the wives should kick these no marks into touch and never take them back,because any man that can't keep it in his trousers doesent deserve a wife.Why would you want to go with someone elses man?If they are married and want out of their marrages then men should come straight first with their wives,get a divorce and then do what the hell they want.It makes me laugh that anyone would want a cheater,if a man can commit to a woman by marrage then cheat what the hell makes you think he wont do the same to you later on down the line.You deserve everything you get you selfish spoilt lot!!

Are you serious. Who made these men step out in their wives? You got it.... NO ONE. So why should we give a care about their families that they have at home if they ( the married men ) don't care about them????? Give me a break! Don't blame the other woman, blame the man who is screwing up his own family and the life of another woman. Of course they had to lie to get their way into our poor single lonely lives. They always claim to be having trouble at home or on the verge of getting divorced. Or me and my wife is separated. You know, stuff like that. So now what? Where is the sympathy for used and abused one?!?!?!

Why do people have affairs with married people? You don't know the damage you do -- to the wife, the husband, their kids, to yourself. It's a bad idea all around.

I have the same story. Only that the guy works with me. I am stuck, try to avoid him as much as I can, but what kills me is that he does not have a problem in this, and he is okay if we do not talk at work. He broke up several times in the past but we never stopped talking, this time, looks like he has a decision not to talk to me ever again. I hate myself, and i donno what to do...

If you mess around with a married man you are guaranteed to get hurt. He is married. That means that he is unavailable for another relationship. He is emotionally unavailable, physically unavailable and financially unavailable. His wife has his emotions, his physical presence and his finances. And guess what? That's EXACTLY the way it should be. I am so sick and tired of hearing women try to justify their actions by saying "well he came on to me and HE was the one who made the vows." People flirt all the time. If a married man comes on to a woman then that the woman needs to make the right moral choice and walk away. If he calls or texts, block his number. You don't have to fall to his advances. If you do then you are as culpable to breaking down his marriage as he is. And karma will come back to YOU.

Are you with a married man? Trust me, break it off now! It will hurt like hell but it can hurt like hell now or it can hurt like hell later, either way it is going to hurt! Might as well break it off now before you waste anymore time on this married man. He may send you flowers, candy, call you baby, tell you he loves you, makes future plans with you, plans trips with you, talks about moving in with you, goes apartment shopping for you, opens a seperate bank account, etc. All these things my MM did, by the way. A lot of people will tell you he lied to you, some of them do, but some of them get caught up in the moment, like you do. They aren't just lying to you, they are lying to themselves. They are living the fantasy, as you are, and you are eating it up. But that doesn't make it RIGHT! ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS and until he is already moved out with divorce papers in his hands, don't believe him! Don't waste your time ladies, if he hasn't left her by now, he won't leave her. And if you go tell his wife that he has been messing around, she doesn't always kick him out and that can backfire. I say TELL HER! His wife deserves to know, and then run...run far away. Make smart decisions and be strong ladies...you will get through it, I promise. It hurts now but you will get over it. Just learn from it and never ever date a married man again...EVER! You have to go through the storm before you see the rainbow and trust me ladies there is a rainbow!

Thank you so much. I needed to read something like this to feel better. I am so hurt and devastated right now. Thank you for your inspiring words.

Thank you so much, SoniSagra. You are wise. You have perhaps saved my life.

i to hav just been dumped by a mm, he was my friend for fifteen years before we started a seven month relationship, he is fifteen years older than me and has been married for thirty four years, grown up children, he is also a jehovas witness. I considered him my best friend, an he told me i was his soulmate. As bad as i feel i know he is devasted for hurting his wife and me, but he has to put his family first, i understand that. What hurts the most is i can never talk to him again, i have lost a best friend, and i know he is suffering to and his wife didnt deserve this. I have cryed so much, suicidal but i hav children, it is like a death, but he wont return my front door key. U never know what happens in the future, and one thing i know for a fact, somewhere a long the way they always come back. But it will be a very different situation wen he does. He will try and make it work but in time he will be back in that same place were something was missing, thats why he strayed in the first place. I know this man very well and it is the first time he has strayed, his guilt was huge, but he risked everything to make me happy when my dad died and i got depressed. He is not a bad man, We just had a conection we couldnt ignore, Oh my god, what a price to pay, But i still have hope for the future, Its very hard for any marraige to survive, and they can try for years but in reality when contnued To lie for seven months, because she keeped asking him, does he have a lover, he continued to lie over and over. I dont believe a marraige can survive such a huge betrayel for so long, they will be kidding themselves. In time it will end, and maybe i will get my friend back.

WOW. You're really gonna wait around on him. Wow wow wow..!!!!

I to am going thru this same situation. It hurts like h*** ! It started out as a business deal. I talked to him on the phone for months then we finally met in person. The phone calls n emails still continued months after the deal closed, then New Years Eve he popped over unannounced,this blew my mind. kissed me n left. Told stories of how his wife never there for him or the kids how she dont listen to him or have the same interests ( n even heard from mutual friends how she treats him bad but i guess he likes that sort of treatment). But that was two years ago. Now I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face cause I cant believe its over!!! My heart is aching for someone who said they need to get their life in order ???? i know i must be crazy for crying for someone who was never going to be mine but i am.the fact of the matter is i done sooo much for them and they done this to me. So to all you married bi's you are the ones that create woman like me - treat your husbands better cause one day they may actually leave you for the other woman n then you'll c how it feels to have your heart broken in a million pieces

Really you are the one who chose to be with a married man... You deserve all your pain for being so stupid and to believe you are something more special than the wife... And telling the Wives to hold onto the their husbands ...F.. K u if you wouldn't spread your legs so easily then they wouldn't bother with you..🐽🐽🐽
You are just a nasty disposable Ho... Tossed like a used condom... 🔥🔥Burn u Biyatch... Karma 😲

I'm not quite sure what any of you expected. Did you really think you were so special that they would leave their wives. They are MARRIED taken men who made promises to someone else... And they are now breaking those promises with you. Even if your the .1% that that marries the married man you do realize the minute he gets bored and tired of your *** he's gonna find some new fresh meat... <br />
So moral of the story ... Meet a married man turn around and walk away because you don't want to be his next disposable baggie...

Wow. I love your answer!

It helps so much to know I'm not alone. He dumped me 3 weeks ago, "because it's not fair to keep you caged and trapped". I then find out he's making a go of it with the wife he spent the last 3 years bitching about and loathing. He didn't have the guts to tell me this, and I have had a very bad few weeks feeling completely worthless. I was his "rock", he couldn't ever manage without me, he would say. But I was just an ego boost and counsellor for him until he could get his wife back. I veer from white hot anger to ardent self-pity, and just have to trust that the day will come when I can stop thinking about this massive injustice.

Married men that do this are narcisissts....this will help you get over him.... Same story for myself.....I have to accept who I thought was my "soulmate" is a sick individual...google narcisissm and chronic cheaters....it will explain a lot. These men are pigs! I was so used....it hurts me everyday!

Lexus , I feel for you, love can make u feel just as good as it does bad. Only u know what's best for you, imagine yr children as adults , what do u think they would want for you knowing everything u have been through with this guy. Maybe give yrself and yr presious heart a break for a while .. Feel and give unconditional love with yr children they are always worth yr time , love ..

Lexus , I feel for you, love can make u feel just as good as it does bad. Only u know what's best for you, imagine yr children as adults , what do u think they would want for you knowing everything u have been through with this guy. Maybe give yrself and yr presious heart a break for a while .. Feel and give unconditional love with yr children they are always worth yr time , love ..

so many similar stories. i am not sure how to begin. I am married & became very attracted to someone who is completely out of my league. At first it was more of a challenge to see if I could get him to step out on his wife but only because he is supposedly a man with integrity, honestly, blah blah blah. to keep the story short, i emailed him a couple of times, then he sent me his personal cell # so we joked around a bit and it became pretty personal. the first time he said he couldn't do "this" because of his kids and career but we could be friends which is the ultimate kiss-off. I wasn't daunted, just made it more challenging. Gave him a day or two, more texts, then sexting, pictures, clandestine meetings, usually a whopping 5 minutes b/c he had to rush home. kissing him was like kissing a brick, only not as pleasant but I still wanted him. many conversations, groping, sending pictures upon demand, talking dirty upon demand, changing my plans to accommodate what would be "broken dates" which never failed but I kept trying. Why...I have no idea.. He always had an excuse, the kids were acting up, the furniture was delivered a day early, I forgot, I have to get home, gotta pick up the kids..one time even planned a group activity and I was supposed to be his "right hand person" and he tells me the night before, it's a no go...wifey's friend decided she wanted to go so would be his right hand person but oddly enough, the friend was a no show and he got mad at me because I was pissed off at him; i told him he was scared & never had any intention of following thru; he never denied it, but never admitted it either. Kept letting him tell me what to do; pictures, meet me here after work for a whole 5 minutes...I feel like such an idiot for letting him control me like that; it took his sorry *** almost a year to kiss me...definitely not worth the wait...too mechanical and hurried. After I did everything he told me, I would ask for a picture.oh..camera is broken..can't do it..kids are here...too busy...am hunting...am this am that...when does the "here's your sign schmuch' finally reach the neurons? i pursue this ******* like no other and even tho he could't be straight with me this last time when I got the "well, I've got to work some things out" routine, he got mad because he said I read too much into it..um..what's NOT to read into it...you're telling me you're done with me, only different verbage, and I'm reading into it...then like the other say...see him at work and it's like, oh everything is peachy keen, now that he's cut himself free from the woman he fed a bunch of bullshit too but who ate it just as freely...he's good to go with his life, and his wife and his two kids and omg..i could go on....i can't seem to want to stop texting him or sending emails, that are work related..kind of just to aggravate the **** out of him because there really is no reason to do so...it's coincidental as to his timing because a new girl who is here to do some project, showed up with a friend of hers & she is younger, skinnier, beautiful, educated, smart, unattached and b/c he is a creature of habit, he started doing the same things around her that he did with me & I called him out on it. He says "We're still friends, it's not true and let them all talk" meaning the other people where I work...timing..so obvious and me so dumb for hanging on like a desperate stupid ***** sending text messages for really no reason..I hate myself for feeling like this and still hope he'll text me but know that "he's through with me being his playtoy," and has moved on to better things. why do we fall for this b.s.? I accomplished my task of getting him to a point where he would be considered a hypocrite if ever wanting to prosecute someone else for adultery so I should be happy but am not...I guess his fake *** words and compliments still resonate in my head because I didn't and don't feel sexy, althought I am decent looking, with an okay body, just a very volatile aggressive personality, and not afraid to call it the way I see it. <br />
I don't understand why I feel the need to be attractive to other men and lord have mercy they show me a little attention and my day went from suck to awesome...until the games begin and the b.s just picks up where it left off. I must be more insecure than I thought to put up with such crap, but I will say I gave him a good dose of crap too and he didn't like it because he wasn't "used to it." It's like wow...are you a ***** or what? I changed who I was, how i dressed and the way I did things to make him proud of me when i should have been making myself proud of me for not falling into the same trap I have before. do i hate him? No. he does what he is best at; putting on act like a politician does, his words seemingly genuine, his thoughts and actions real until he gets into "office," gets what he wants then drops you like a dirty rag not good enough to wipe the floor. If i knew why I had the need to pursue those who make others think they are so upstanding and not guilty of making mistakes, maybe I would be the kind of person who could recognize being used from the beginning when all the topic is about is my body..usually my breasts...then I would have more respect for myself and take pride in myself for me, not because my boobs are the best part of me; apparently they have a mind of their own because I sure can't carry a conversation that's worth a damn either. I'm not that smart or educated so have nothing to say.

WOW, so you wanted to se if you could get him to step away from his wife... YOU DESERVE THE MISERY...YOU ARE THE NARCISSITIC PIG HERE!!! YOU ARE A SICK DISGUSTING INDIVIDUAL...

Oh my life, I am so glad I read this. I too am being actively chased by a married man. I met him through mutual friends and then these friends who obviously know that he is married, gave him my contact details. Prior to realising he was married, we kissed. Nothing more. Of course he is drop-dead gorgeous, charming, funny etc. He turned up out of the blue on my birthday again finding out information from friends as to where I was which shocked me and I reiterated to him then that married men aren't my bag. I had the whole diatribe of staying together until the kids graduate, blah, blah, blah. It all seems pretty typical after reading the above. That they have an agreement, which I didn't believe. I have left it at that, though I know that he'll engineer to be in places that I am. The pursuit of me is overwhelming. I'm not sure how deal with it at all.

hi ladies...<br />
let me tell u my story briefly....i am a div woman with a small kid, my Married boyfriend who met my ex husband after i got div called me to enquire about him for his work and he came over to my house...we became friends and ofcourse...he started telling me how owfull his wife is...he promised that he will file for div and will marry me.that time his wife was pregnant....but now, after 2 yrs..the baby is 2 yrs old...he never got seperated from his wife...and never stopped telling me his loving stories,....finally i took a decision to move away from him....which i got failed 6 months ago...but this time...i DID it!!!!!!... he continued to be acting that he loved me to death....now that i am sooooooooooo happy that i got over from that B........, and now i am dating a single person who always have time for me and who will do anything for me...i call call him anytime of the day or night...and i can see him anytime....dont have to worry abt the wife!!!!!!!!<br />
ladies...please please...make your self strong and dont turn back at thiese jerks.....they are cheating on their wives,,,on you....bcoz from my experience.....i am telling you...while he was blaming his wife...i heard a voice mail from his wife with a loving words and with lots of love...and same time...i found 2 e mails from his inbox from other 2 woman or sex workers....so, pls dont trust them...and dnt listen to their sugar coated words...my guy is telling me now that he will pray that he shd get me in his next life...hahahahah.....

hi ladies...<br />
let me tell u my story briefly....i am a div woman with a small kid, my Married boyfriend who met my ex husband after i got div called me to enquire about him for his work and he came over to my house...we became friends and ofcourse...he started telling me how owfull his wife is...he promised that he will file for div and will marry me.that time his wife was pregnant....but now, after 2 yrs..the baby is 2 yrs old...he never got seperated from his wife...and never stopped telling me his loving stories,....finally i took a decision to move away from him....which i got failed 6 months ago...but this time...i DID it!!!!!!... he continued to be acting that he loved me to death....now that i am sooooooooooo happy that i got over from that B........, and now i am dating a single person who always have time for me and who will do anything for me...i call call him anytime of the day or night...and i can see him anytime....dont have to worry abt the wife!!!!!!!!<br />
ladies...please please...make your self strong and dont turn back at thiese jerks.....they are cheating on their wives,,,on you....bcoz from my experience.....i am telling you...while he was blaming his wife...i heard a voice mail from his wife with a loving words and with lots of love...and same time...i found 2 e mails from his inbox from other 2 woman or sex workers....so, pls dont trust them...and dnt listen to their sugar coated words...my guy is telling me now that he will pray that he shd get me in his next life...hahahahah.....

cant believe it happened to me. i've suffered from being heartbroken for 2 weeks and living like a walking dead. cant believe he dumped me and came back to his wife and they both laughed at me. cant stand feeling i was just a joke to them. i totally cant understand wat's going on, how can he treat me like that.<br />
<br />
His wife knew very well about his relationship at the very beginning and she said she was ok with this. so i felt ok since i thought they were done with each other. he was my world! he showed up in my life and taught me how to become a woman and he made me a woman. he was always there when i needed him. he kept saying he needed me and would always be there for me, ALWAYS! We even talked about building up our own family, having babies, and doing business together. i always trusted him and dreamed about a future with him. in the last 2 years, his wife and he were apart and they rarely talked (as he told me) but he never said he wanted to get a divorce (now i realize that). when i brought up this issue, he just told me not to worry. i fought with him, cried many times since he never told me the exact answer but i believed he loved me and wanted to hav a future with me.<br />
<br />
After 2 years being with me, all of a sudden, his wife showed up 2 weeks ago. now he's been stuck around with her and left me alone. i understand i lost him but just cant understand how things could happen that way. how could people act like that. he just left me! that's it. i cant stop thinking about sweet, crazy things we did together. how can i survive being dumped like this? feeling like he just played around with my heart and he was just a master. im feeling hurt and angry too.<br />
<br />
Wat should i do?

My first question is: Why would a marry man cheat on his wife? Isn't it maybe her fault that she may not be doing something right? Why would he look outside if she is so perfect?<br />
<br />
My next question is: Why would a single woman go with a married man?<br />
Thats where my story begins.I am 26 and i met my MM at work.He is my boss which makes my situation a whole lot more complicated.I got all the right lines:<br />
1. I love you and you are the best thing that ever happened to me<br />
2. I never knew i could be this happy<br />
3. My wife treats me bad and i am gonna file for a divorce<br />
4. I cant live without you,you are my everything<br />
5. I pray everyday that we can be together<br />
<br />
I guess we have all heard those lines and for some reason a married man knows exactly how to treat you right.He knows exactly what you want,what you need,what you love in bed,what you wanna hear,he knows all the right things to do and say. He knows how to make you feel like a queen!<br />
<br />
Ladies,my heart is aching because i believed this jerk. Out of the blue he just came and said " I love you but i realise now that i have a lot of complications and i think you should move on. I dont see this working again. Our 11 months must come to an end".I was devasted and to make it worst he started victimising me when i said i wanted to talk about it and when i wanted to know the real reason.<br />
<br />
I couldnt handle it and i ended up googling "how to deal with a breakup with a married man " and came across this blog.<br />
<br />
Honestly,you gals are right , if he could lie to his wife then he can surely lie to me.I know i am wrong in all of this.I know it wasn't right but for some reason, everything seems to fall into place to make it seem right and perfect.I love his more than anyting and having to face him everyday rips my heart out of my chest.<br />
<br />
My advice to you girls is to run! Run as far away as you can because it is not worth it.They will just hurt you.I wish i had read this blog before falling in love but i guess this is how i needed to learn a lesson.Even though i hold a Masters in Management, i should have let my common sense prevail and think with my head instead of my heart.<br />
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Keep strong because Time heals all wounds and most importantly,pray and ask for forgiveness because as humans we all make mistakes.And remember,what goes around comes around......

Hi, I think that some women are just sitting ducks. It's very cruel to say it is all the womans fault because I believe there are some MM's who seek out, say divorcees with small children, who are incredibly lonely and deliberately set out to do a Lover Man Act on them. It is all very well to say, you MWomen out there, how awful it is, but if you **** off your man soooo oo much and he is a bit of a bastard and not very sensitive, and he goes off determined, then there isnt very much point blaming the other lady who get's caught up in all the Sh.......... t. <br />
All I can say is, that if one is 'set up' and a MM is determined to have his way, then it just happens and that's it. I am not proud of it, and in fact it made me happy and incredibly sad, but that was just the way it was. I won't do it again, and I think he is a born philanderer, but I haven't tried to pull him away from the marriage, that would be even more disastrous, and I have to try to put closure on it and just move on. However, all you Pointy Fingers out there, if a women is unable to go out at night because she is a really good mother, and genuinely in need, there is room for thinking that the naughty old MM just feels, that she is deserving for a while, for a little love and attention he is isnt getting at home. A little romance, a little love, and a little escapism. Then, back to reality. Life isnt perfect. Live with it.

Hi, I think that some women are just sitting ducks. It's very cruel to say it is all the womans fault because I believe there are some MM's who seek out, say divorcees with small children, who are incredibly lonely and deliberately set out to do a Lover Man Act on them. It is all very well to say, you MWomen out there, how awful it is, but if you **** off your man soooo oo much and he is a bit of a bastard and not very sensitive, and he goes off determined, then there isnt very much point blaming the other lady who get's caught up in all the Sh.......... t. <br />
All I can say is, that if one is 'set up' and a MM is determined to have his way, then it just happens and that's it. I am not proud of it, and in fact it made me happy and incredibly sad, but that was just the way it was. I won't do it again, and I think he is a born philanderer, but I haven't tried to pull him away from the marriage, that would be even more disastrous, and I have to try to put closure on it and just move on. However, all you Pointy Fingers out there, if a women is unable to go out at night because she is a really good mother, and genuinely in need, there is room for thinking that the naughty old MM just feels, that she is deserving for a while, for a little love and attention he is isnt getting at home. A little romance, a little love, and a little escapism. Then, back to reality. Life isnt perfect. Live with it.

you didn't get dumped.........you never had him, he is married. He used you.

i just wanted to say some of us were pursued by the married man and lied to it took me 9 months to find out he was married bc he lived in another state and used a fake name but it hurts no matter what the situation is we are humans make mistakes

just got dumped by a married guy who begged me to forgive him for lying about being married and now he wont speak to me IM SO DEPRESSED

Honestly you had it coming should have expected it and deserve to feel like crap

I was in love with a married man, despite my best but weak efforts to stop it..Now 2 years later, i have ended it for the last time. Now i have told my new man, and he justcant see why it happened, what kind of person i am, and is very angry and upset. You see, it keep going, you keep having emotional turmoil from this, and yes these are the consequences to my actions.. But its been sooo hard, and so much pain. Nothing good comes from loving a married man.

My MM of almost 5 years left me today. We had gone through so much and came so close to having a life together. I thought he was different, I thought our story was different. I will never trust anyone again.

I was pursued by a married man from another country online. He told me right from the very beginning he was married and would never leave his family. He'd had one affair before, which ended badly for the other woman. i told him nothing would ever happen, but began emailing, texting and calling back and forth immediately. He quickly made me feel like I was everything to him, depite the distance. He told me he still loved his wife, that she was a wonderful woman and a fantastic mother, but she was cold towards him and they never had any kind of intimacy, let alone sex. <br />
<br />
I was recently divorced when he found me on a dating site. He told me everything I wanted to hear and then some. He shared his life with me, and I felt I could trust him in spite of the fact he was trying to cheat with me. i know, I know...stupid.<br />
<br />
Anyway, we confided everything ineach other over the months, and by the time we'de been chatting five months, I believed he loved me and I flew to his country to be with him for a week...he romanced me and we spent an incredible 5 days together, more in love than ever. <br />
<br />
After I returned home, we continued to see each other online and texed and called each other. It was getting harder to do because both our lives were becoming increasingly stressful with our respective families and careers. Within the past three months, I met someone in person, someone who has become very special to me, but I had no idea how to tell my MM. I was feeling very guilty keeping both men's existance from one another and I knew it had to end with my MM, but I had no idea how. He told me he loved me more than any other woman, that he would be heart-broken if I ever left him, and that he would never search for another lover as what we had (even long-distance0 was enough for him. He was going through exceptionally stressful times with his health and his family, so there never seemed to be the 'right" time to bring up my new relationship.<br />
<br />
Last Saturday, he texted me and hinted at me finding someone else...asked if I had an arrangement with someone. Made it clear that it was okay if I did, that he would be perfectly fine with that because I was human. When I didn't deny it, he stopped texting. I emailed him on Monday morning asking where we stood, and he emailed back saying that we couldn't work any longer, that there were now other people involved (on his side too), and that we should both move on. I said fine and told him to be happy (sarcastically) with his other woman. He replied by saying there was NO other woman, but the need to look for one since he still wasn't getting any at home. He told me he'd keep me close in his thoughts. UGH.<br />
<br />
I finally wote him a very angry email, ending it that I would be happy and he would always search for someone to fill that hole inside him, and I told him to never contact me again. He hasn't; I made it easy for him.<br />
<br />
I KNOW I deserve what I'm feeling. I KNOW I'm a bad person for getting mixed up with him, and then keeping him a secret from my new boyfriend. I deserve what I get. <br />
<br />
I want to stop checking my email. I want him to be feeling as miserable about this as I do. I want his wife to find out. Most of all, I want to stop feeling stupid and guilty and humiliated about it all. I can't believe I fell for everything he said, and I'm so angry at myself for falling in love with him. I'm so pissed off for honestly believing he was different from other cheaters...how pathetic.

This just happened to me in the last 2 days. I never meet a guy from my background locally. This guy approached me on Facebook and I accepted his Friend's request. We chatted for a bit..he was at work and was about to leave. He asked if i could give him contact number since we were living only a few blocks away from each other. He called me right away. We talked for a while..I asked where his family was and if he was married. He just smiled and said LONG STORY. I said i will take that as a yes. Then we decided to meet the following Saturday just for early dinner to meet. I thought it would be nice to have a local friend who is from the same community as I. It was instant attraction the second i saw his beautiful smile. He couldn't stop staring at me and telling me how i look so much better and prettier in person. He told me his wife is back home with their 2 year old daughter, but he is in the process of ending things with her as he has never loved her and this was an arranged marriage. So the impression I fell under was that he lives here now and has no plans of bringing his wife here and never will, and he said he would have to eventually get married again. I would never get involved with a man who is married. This was different.<br />
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I have been in very bad relationships in the past, where I have found out later on that they were married with kids. I was very lonely and vulnerable. We ended up making out for 4 hours that night. I saw him the next day where we ended up having sex. From there on it was all romance. He took care of me the way i've never been taken care of. I loved it. I loved the way he was loving me. He's been a great friend, helping me find work, pushing me to study, stand on my feet...encouraging me constantly how i can have an amazing life and be someone who will everyone just envy. And i liked that. I was glad that I finally have someone in my life like this now.<br />
<br />
Long story short, he's realized that i've become too attached emotionally. He told me he doesnt know what will happen with his wife situation back home, may be i will just sacarifice myself for my daughter and stay with the wife so my kid doesnt grow up in a broken home bla bla...and he said i thought about everything about us, and have realized I cannot marry you. That I will be just friends with you, and will be there for you if you need me. Help you get on your feet..yada yada yada...<br />
<br />
I'm inlove with this man, i cant stop missing him. all i've been doing is crying. he is the nicest thing that ever happened to me. how do i get over it...

Thank you so much for these comments. I have been pursued by a married man at work for the past few months (who initially conveniently failed to mention he was married and does not wear a wedding ring). Since I found out he was married, I have tried just being friends with him as we appear to get on so well (nothing physical has happened), but the friendship is more or less an emotional affair - he calls me all the time, he wants to go to lunch with me all the time etc etc. He has invited me to stay at his house when his wife is away - I said I didn't feel comfortable doing that, but that I do like spending time with him. It has gone a bit too far now - he told me he loved me and that he can tell I love him too. He says explicit things to me too. I have said inappropriate things to him too, i'm sorry to say - I got totally caught up in the whole thing. As with all the above comments, I believe(d) all the things he says about how much he cares for me, how lovely I am, how much he loves to talk to me etc etc and I am disgusted with myself when saying that something probably would have happened before I came across this. I am angry with myself for being so stupid and naive and not thinking more about his poor wife, who as I understand it has been hugely supportive of him through a lot of issues. I am just so grateful I came across this because the stories of other people have given me the strength to tell him to stop contacting me for good. It will be really hard, but at least I wont be potentially ruining someone's marriage or setting myself up for heartbreak. Thank you everyone and I hope you have found a decent, single man!

ONE BIG LESSON HERE LADIES... DON'T DATE MARRIED MEN. SIMPLE AS THAT... AND AS LONG AS WOMEN ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO DO IT THEN MEN WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT.<br />
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE???<br />
<br />
WOMEN ARE THERE OWN WORST ENEMIES IN THIS SITUATON. IF WOMEN WOULD NOT GO WITH MARRIED MEN IN THE FIRST PLACE THEN THIS PROBLEM WOULD NOT EXIST.<br />
<br />
AS FOR KARMA... IT DOES HAPPEN AND U DON'T KNOW WHEN THE OTHER PERSON GET THERES BUT THEY DO , AND SO WILL YOU FOR DATING A MAN YOU KNOW IS ALREADY TAKEN.

Well...I too have just been dumped via text by my married lover. The story is the same. He and his wife don't get along, she's the bad guy in all of this so he says. I do have confirmation of that from mutual friends, but does that really matter? No. He was and is still married.He also left and went to his mother's house. We had long conversations on the phone, he stayed at my house frequently. I tried to break this off with him several times, stating it didn't sit well with me, and it didn't. Nevertheless, I was realled back in. He begged me on bened knee not to leave. What a f*&^^&* rip off. Same ol' story...we had so much in common, we laughed, made mad passionate love. I introduced him to my children. While I am greiving about this because it just happened a week ago, I realize I could never go back and believe me at times, I want to. It's not like he hasn't contacted me to do so...in so many words. Never saying it directly but stating he has faith and hope. A few days before the text he talked about us having a future together the night before, he asked if he could come to my house. Only to get a text the next morning saying he was returning home. I often ask myself, what happened in a matter of hours. Well for one, his wife read his texts so he was busted...for two he couldn't have cared all that much about me to send me a dear John leeter 21st century style. Why couldn't he have said to her I need to tell her face to face. I get so pissed thinking about it so I try not to but I also realize that I need to greive our relationship, as wrong as it was, feelings were there. I do believe on both parts. I take responcibilty for the part I played in this as well. I am no victim. I knew what I was getting into. I think that makes for a faster recovery as well. And somewhere deep down inside I know it wasn't going to work because of the marriage piece. I am also married but have been seperated for some time so that was no issue, for the most part :). Also, I made sure that I didn't give up the male friend I had to be with him exclusively. While I didn't have intercourse with my friend I still remained in contact. He was aware of that as well. I needed him to know that I was not giving up everything for him while he is still married. That doesnt negate my feelings as I said before, but I can still call my friend if need be and he will be there. I do see us being cordial at some point but no time soon. I am very hurt, disappointed, angry and sad I feel rejected and abandoned. I do know that I will never with prayer...enter into this type of relationship again. There really is no future in it. I also need to say that I am very regretfull about hurting his wife. I know that I wouldn't want this done to me. Wish I could apologize to her. Evan if all that he said about her is true...it still doesnt give me the right to insert myself into their lives and cause more harm than was was there. I pray for them both asking God to do His will in their marriage. Even when I don't want to. I know it's the right thing to do . I really don't care about being judged. I am human and make bad decisions. I have learned a valuable lesson in all of this. It is to honor myself. I was not doing that by entering into this relationship. Also to honor other women, something else I wasn't doing. I learned that I can be selfish and think of only myself. I learned that I have to take responcibilty for my own actions and suffer the consequences as well. I am willing to do that. I know that this too will pass. I just stay in prayer about it.

t and i spent our teenage years as good friends. he was nearly my bother in law. a 13 year gap and we met up. he threw himself at me. 17 months we were devoted but both had baggage. i knew he was married. the kids kept him there. wife used them as weapons. threats to 'lose' them abroad, her home country. this is a good man who has now, ive realised, become an alcoholic. due to him not thinking she found out 6 months ago. he stated at the start he would never leave, as he has before twice. he is very screwed up. i know his family and they all hate the wife. she imprisons him. he is weak. my very real sorrow is seeing my dear friend unhappy but too scared to face what his life is. his oldest son, aged 20, now has a vendetta against the wife , his own mother, and t for runing his life. it is a very very bad marriage. long before i came along. i cant believe he used me. hes kept in touch since she found out. why is that? we had a real connection, from our youth. i cannot understand, for his sake, why he stays. she has pulled knives on him and so much more. his character has been swamped by her. if anyone has insight into what this has all been about please reply. thanks

Your story really speaks to me. I can't believe I am in the situation that I have been dumped by someone who I trusted who would complain endlessly about his wife's manipulative behavior. He actually left her while we together over 3 rocky years and now he just dumped me. I let everything atrophy focussing on him. He was involved with my family and made so many claims. I just saw him over july 4th thinking we could be friends but his almost categorical indifference to me and continual way of reframing the relationship i have letter after letter describing as being the so meaningful etc as a cycle really just kept hurting. I feel so crazy and of course no one on the planet has anything but judgement and well I feel like I don't know how or why to go on with so little sense of what is home or what I thought my plans were going to be. I helped him in so many ways and feel used and betrayed in ways no other break up has begun to come close to. I don't know what to do. I feel unloveable and worthless and like there is nothing left. I can't even have a dog because I have moved back to where my parents lived (he left and I couldn't pay the rent and stupidly convinced my landlord not to sue him) - I know I have been stupid and gullible but I have had bouts of depression and I felt like I was lucky he seemed like he was ok with that about me. I also normally date women and can't comprehend the level of cruelty and indifference he has been displaying - and can't help wondering just what people can expect in relationships. I mean I would never have reciprocated in the first place if I wasn't convinced that his wife was really using their daughter to keep him in the marriage. He claims being so committed to social justice and I guess I now hear the stories that paint him as the victim in every arena of his life when he has a job and I don't and I helped him find the place he lives in. I mean how much does being depressed have to cost someone in a relationship?

you are all ******, ****** and *****. My husband had a 2 year affair with his client at Harvard. All they did was screw, fight and angst over their respective spouses. She is married too. She moved out of her house hoping my husband would join her. Instead he chose to stay with me<br />
<br />
I have no pity for any of you. I'm glad all of you are hurt

I have a similar situation. I'm a massage therapist and met my married man as a client. When he first came to my studio the first thing I noticed was how cute he was but while I was massaging him he mentioned he was married so I didn't think about him in any other way than a client. He's a south american guy with a pretty brown complexion and an accent like Ricky Ricardo, as a matter of fact I used to jokingly refer to him as Ricky. Anyway, at the end of our first session I gave him a hug goodbye and somehow placed a kiss softly on his lips then he left. After that he made an appointment with me once a week for three weeks. Each time he tried to kiss me again and I said no. Then he sent me an e-mail asking if he could give me a massage. I don't know why I said yes, but I think I did so because I was attracted to him. After the massage we had sex. I figured afterwards I made a huge mistake and it wasn't going to happen again. He invited me to a local bar for a drink I went figured I would explain we couldn't have sex again. Then I realized when we were conversating how much we had in common and that I liked him. He told me that his wife doesn't understand him he's not attracted to her anymore. I also was living with my ex because he didn't have a job and I was also very lonely so right then we formed a common bond. Well after a couple of months of us dating him and his wife decided to try and save the marriage for the sake of their two kids who are by the way babies. I understood because I have two babies myself. We still saw each other although he was going to marriage counseling. I said to him isn't seeing me hindering the counseling; for a while he said no and eventually he broke it off with me<br />
to work on the marriage. I was upset but respected his decision of course he kept calling me I guess to see if I had moved on. He stated he didn't want me to see anyone else. Then two weeks <br />
later he asked to see me I said okay because I missed him so much. When he came to my studio we embraced as if we hadn't seen each other in ten years. We told each other how much we missed each other. I gave him a massage we talked and at the end we had sex. I wanted him in my life so bad that I was willing to be his mistress. However after awhile I didn't get to see him as much; so I was going to break up with him after this past Christmas. However before I could do that he texted me on Christmas Eve and said he moved out of his house and was staying with his brother and was a permanent situation.<br />
We spent more time together but there was a problem I was still living with my ex and our two kids. So he was complaining that he doesn't want to go out with someone in a committed relationship. He said we should just be friends. I was in love with him and I told him often he didn't love me though and has never said so he didn't even get me a present for Christmas. Most of the time when we spoke on the phone we fought about my living arrangement with my ex. He felt he could pick on me about it although he was still married and just because he moved out of the house. Most of the time when I wanted us to meet he was busy with soccer or his friends. I felt like I couldn't when with him and I was also giving pieces of myself to him. I wasn't even that focused on my business anymore he took up all my time emotionally. I was starting to come to the realization that the real problem with his marriage probably began with him. I was trying to do everything to make him happy and I was failing miserably. He even after on evening started to ignore my text messages and phone calls. I called him repeatedly for about five days until he picked. He answered hello cheerfully like everything was fine. I asked him if he was ok and he said was fine . I thought he was either in trouble or sick which is why he's been ignoring me. He said he was trying to forget about me because I was living with my ex.I was so shocked that those words came out of his mouth. I was thinking " if that ain't the tea pot calling the kettle black". He said if I'm still with him he wasn't going to be around. I begged him not to dump me and I would put him out soon. So everything was fine for about a week. Right before the blizzard he wanted to see me so I told my ex that I was doing a massage outcall and I would be back in couple of hours.<br />
So I went to my MM brother's house with him where we had sex and watched television. He also stated he was lonely . I told him that I come as a package because I have two little ones as he already knows. He took me home I hugged and kissed him goodbye unaware that it would be the last time I would see him. I told to text me when he got home safely he did. I text him that I loved him. The next day I tried to call and received no response however I did receive a text message from him I asked if was ready for me to come over he said no. I asked why and asked if he was mad at me he said yes. I asked what I did wrong I didn't respond. I haven't heard from him since it has been two weeks. I writing because my self-esteem is at an all time 0 and I feel like killing myself because I've been such a fool. I can't because I have two little boys who need. I'm sorry this is so long but there isn't anyone I can talk to about this. All I do is cry and tell myself that I am an unlovable loser. Can someone please help me pick myself up for the sake of my kids ?

Hey all. I saw this topic and just wanted to drop a line and vent here. I've been in the same situation also unfortunately. I feel lil better to know that others have also. Started out he was leaving his job to work his wife (aw how sweet) and I was taking his position. He trained me for 3days at the job (and I didnt really see him like that really) then he pursued me on his last day and gave me his # and told me contact him for any questions. (of course i gave my contact, bad idea!) I didn't contact him, but he txt me and that's when our conversing started. <br />
<br />
I never thought I would fall for him and only wanted to be friends, but of course u cant be a friends with a married man! So I would say after a few months of talking, he drops a bombshell that "I want to start a relationship with you", which my stupid *** agreed to since he was babbling about not going to waste my time, and that he cared for me, wants to share new experiences with me yaddayadda, all the BULLSHIT. <br />
<br />
Fast forward through all the **** I've been through with him, and right now I'm STILL tryng to get over him!. It only lasted 8 months (thank god) but even then I feel so emotionally used by him. I can't imagine being in that for over a year or more. TRUST, never put yourself in something like this, it just ends with yourself HEARTBROKEN because you see, if he doesn't get caught (an it's like you'll feel worst if you try to tell his wife out of revenge or something) then he will most likely dump YOU when he see wifey getting suspicious. The MM I was with would tell me how his wife would cry at times bc she can TELL that something is up, and she would SAY to him that he seems emotionally unattached to her. So in turn he backed off of me for a min and went back to her to smooth/butter her up and keep her happy. (while at the same time, buy my gifts and try to keep me on the sidelines) I'm telling you, MOST men (i can't say all, that's unfair) are so good at playing these mind games with females to the point that it'll just comes naturally. <br />
<br />
I thought this man was my soulmate too, I thought he was a good hearted person who always helped others, he was intelligent and we had ALOT of things in common. We would talk all night about any and everything and the times we shared made me so happy at the time but forget it, you just gotta look past it. Just think that the moment they tried to get with you is the moment they lied to you and that's the type of person they are. (a LIER and CHEATER) They'll do the same to YOU! <br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong I took the karma that was handed to me and I asked god for forgiveness so many times but you know gets me so hurt even after letting this man go? The fact that he gets to go back to his wife/marriage like everything is peachy clean. He never once got any karma for what he's done to me and his wife. And also he blamed me for pushing him away because I "didn't give him enough time". What?? Give me a break, what an ***. Sorry for the long vent. :(

This happened to me this very day! We had become quite close friends over the last year or so, then suddenly we discovered there was a whole lot more there under the surface. We both knew it was wrong to go over the line (so spare any judgmental remarks please cos I KNOW). First he was crazy for me, then decided he should try to make a go of his marriage even though he was crazy about me. After several breakups and tearful reunions, he has decided today that he cannot go on with two lives. He has chosen to stay with wife and family and that's that. I am left to deal with losing both somebody I had grown to love as well as my close friend. My advice to anybody tempted in the future with a married person is to run away as fast as you can!!

Me too, just happened YESTERDAY, and in the same manner golden girl referenced. I get the "I'm a better person for knowing you" BS and no further explanation, and then he just flat out ignores me. I was an idiot to think he'd actually be respectful of my feelings when in all honesty he was just using me.

Please don't let this experience interfere with your life.

This just happened to me too. The thing is, he totally came from out of nowhere and pursued me, but I guess that's usually how they work. I knew from the beginning it wasn't a good idea and that it was never going to go anywhere, but yet I did it anyway. I guess I was feeling vulnerable from just getting out of a couple bad relationships. This guy was ALL about me for a while and I loved the attention. Then all of the sudden I just quit hearing from him. I even called him out on it and asked if he had just gotten what he wanted from me and was done with me. No response. I tell ya, nothing like feeling used! I'll never understand how guys can act like they care about you and want to take care of you then just decide they're done at the drop of a hat. Men suck...but I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I haven't been able to talk to ANYONE about this obviously because of the situation so it's nice to be able to vent here!

Hi,
Your situation is exactly like mine. Yours was a long time ago. How do you feel? Are you still heartbroken? How did you cope?

When you find out, can you let me know. I was with a married man for 3 years, on and off, we always found our way back and couldnt go a few days of no contact...last week he didnt contact me so i text him and he said "I need to settle down and look after my family". So..no contact again for a few days, then he text me asking me for someone's contact number, i replied wiith the number because we agreed to be friends but the phone he text me from was the "secret" phone he used for me so i know he's lying about settling down and only wanting his family because he wouldnt still need his other phone and thats what hurts...Why couldnt he just tell me he had someone else instead of lying.....

Been there done that. Now. If you were close to where I am, my girlfriends and I would throw you a massive "poor *****" party, where you could rant, cry, drink your favourite drink, eat chocolate, and we would Sweetling. There ARE nice guys out there. Just make sure in future you always skip the married ones!

I did the same thing once I dated a married man. I was very vulnerable and lonely. I actually broke it off because after a while it was clear it wasn't go to go anywhere. I was pretty young at the time. He would of never left his wife even though they tell you they will they always tell you what you want to hear unless you end it. In some cases they toy with you until they are done and then go about their way as if it never happened. If they used you and cheated with you then they have probably cheated on their wives with other women too. You deserve and will find someone better!

Don't think I'm trying to be judgemental cause I'm not. I've been there and done your situation. Only, I got the pleasure of doing the dumping. But still... why did you ever put TRUST in this relationship in the first place??!! He is MARRIED!! How much can you trust a man already cheating on a spouse??!! Shoulda stuck with the pure- adulterated lusts!! lol.