Post

Just Got Dumped By a Married Man

Well you guessed it I`m feeling pretty bad about right now! Inever thought this could happen to me,why did I believe all the bull, love is over rated!I have not let anybody in my life for 7 yrs.BOOM! when I do I get used, by none the less a freakin married man!now what? I dont believe I`ll ever trust again.
onedge39 onedge39 36-40, F 55 Responses Mar 28, 2007

Your Response

Cancel

I've never understood why anyone dates someone that is already married/dating. If they would cheat to be with you, then they would cheat on you. Equals a non-trustworthy person. Never worth it!

Every one makes mistakes. Relationships wither it is legitimate or not, is complicated. Marriage is sacred and because of it there are boundaries that we must never cross because the end result is always detrimental to our spirits. Ladies no one here is suggesting that these women who got involved with a MM seek God's grace and forgiveness. Only he can give you peace. No Blog Can. God is a God of Justice and we must realize that we get back what we put out ..some times ten time worse. Some call it Karma...but really it is God's Judgment. To often we do things in our life without thinking about others....thinking (quite foolishly ) we will get away. Forget about the MM...he will get his portion...where it be prostate cancer whatever we don't know... least he surrender to God and do the right thing for God's mercy is for everybody. But for now check your self ...seek forgiveness from the almighty and ask him to send someone for you. Ase 0

I think the biggest loosers are those wifes who really take back their husband for cheating on them and then knowing that they cheated on other woman as well, I mean you questioning the other woman for being cruel to the wife etc, but has anybody thought to punish the man who is having the real fun, he gets out of marriage, uses other woman physically and emotionally, and then has all audacity to say sorry to his wife and he is taken back by that super respectful woman. Wow, I equally hate those wifes for promoting such nonsense. Be a real woman. He is cruel to all woman. Trust me the wifes, he is always going to cheat you, just you get to see different woman to abuse throughout your life for spoiling your marriage. Stop that piece of **** you have married to by filing divorce and asking huge compensation and alimony on grounds of infidelity. he will never dare to mess up with a woman again. And the other women please never sulk alone, make him pay for it by filing a lawsuit of sexual harassment. He will be screwed up for life.

why would anyone blame the "other woman" for the affair....the guy is married, so obviously , he is the dirtbag from the start and not always honest, then they get you "hooked" on them, and then you find out the truth....the truth is, they need to get unmarried, as their wives and marriages don't mean much to them if this is what they are doing. They are the ones who need the help and they deserve to be alone!

Are you sure you were dumped?? What did he say? How did he break it off?

This is addressed to Theemrs (who blocked her link so others cannot reply to her) if she ever has the guts to return on this website:
Well, there, you sure are angry! Tell me this: did he dump you for a smarter, younger and more attractive woman? If the answer is yes, then you have the right to be angry with him, not with her. If the answer is no, perhaps you need to find a real man! When you are insulting someone, expect retaliation: ugly old Mrs. Cow!!

Because he wasn't married when he was with you. Chances are he still isn't, he is seeing someone else. That's what hurts

You women are pathetic, no self esteem, low standard trash. How dare any if you ***** to the world about being "dumped" by a married man? Are you serious? You deserve the pain you feel and no sympathy. I hope your heartache consumes you and makes such devastating dents in your hearts that not a day goes by without you remembering. Think about the wives that they promised to love honor and cherish in front of friends and family, think about the children who are missing their daddies cause they're laid up with some trifling *****! and your crying about him breaking his bullshit promises to you? Get a ******* clue and some self love to go along with it. Cows! 🐮

I just couldn't believe this comment! You dear, before you judge anyone else, YOU will at some point in life fall in desperate love with a married man and then we will see what you will be saying! Anything can happen in life, those women who suffer with the whole "married man" affair, are not trash and the whole point is that when you are so in love you can't stop this whole thing! Otherwise there'd be no problems and everyone would be happy! But sometimes life puts us in circumstances that we didn't expect. If you just trash every woman who happens to fall in love with a married guy, than one day you will experience it yourself, and we will laugh!

Theemrs you will never know what it's like to be the other woman. How sick you must be to wish that type of heartache on a person.

The truth is that get too close to the fire, you get burned. People with unstable values, low self discipline and volatile emotions take unwise and irresponsible risks, following their impulses without thinking about the circumstances or pressures which have pushed them towards this chaotic behaviour. Unfortunately, your actions in having an affair with a married person involve huge risks for yourself and everyone else concerned. Grow up a bit, try to sort yourself out and get a psychologist/counsellor to help you put some order into your life. The world will be an easier place for yourself and others if you do.

The truth is that you most likely got dumped yourself and now you are taking it on others. The most avid person against falling in love with married person is the one who does it!! So, how many times have you cheated on your spouse or lover and got dumped? Oops, you don’t even remember. Girls, all married men are nothing but trash, and their wives are either stupid, insecure, greedy for husband\'s money, or plain trash themselves! And those who are using bad language against you are nothing but cheap insecure idiots! Best: do not share your feelings on the Internet and be happy in life! Good luck to you all: cheaters, mistresses and gigolos!

You know having someone else's husband isn't right. Now you make it sound like that it is all his fault. Find someone of your own.

I just got dumped last night by a married man one day after I had his name tattooed on my arm. I'm so hurt.

you waited 7 years for "the one" and you picked a married guy???? and now you're having trust issues????? WOW. There is only one major trust issue I see going on here, and that's in trusting yourself to respect yourself.

You need to set better standards and expectations for yourself. Of course you don't trust anyone! Why would you? YOU can't be trusted to make choices that are good for you. and you're you! why would you trust a total stranger?

Girlfriend. seriously. the issues are with you, not others. I'm sorry that you're hurting right now tho :(

I wish all you women that feel its ok to mess with married men knew the heartache you cause to the wife.Your on here telling about your hurt,yet you dont seem to care about what this does to the wife or the children of these marrages.It hurts you that he has gone back to his wife?Oh thats ok then lets all feel sorry for you taking what didnt belong to you in the first place.Personally I think the wives should kick these no marks into touch and never take them back,because any man that can't keep it in his trousers doesent deserve a wife.Why would you want to go with someone elses man?If they are married and want out of their marrages then men should come straight first with their wives,get a divorce and then do what the hell they want.It makes me laugh that anyone would want a cheater,if a man can commit to a woman by marrage then cheat what the hell makes you think he wont do the same to you later on down the line.You deserve everything you get you selfish spoilt lot!!

Are you serious. Who made these men step out in their wives? You got it.... NO ONE. So why should we give a care about their families that they have at home if they ( the married men ) don't care about them????? Give me a break! Don't blame the other woman, blame the man who is screwing up his own family and the life of another woman. Of course they had to lie to get their way into our poor single lonely lives. They always claim to be having trouble at home or on the verge of getting divorced. Or me and my wife is separated. You know, stuff like that. So now what? Where is the sympathy for used and abused one?!?!?!

Why do people have affairs with married people? You don't know the damage you do -- to the wife, the husband, their kids, to yourself. It's a bad idea all around.

I have the same story. Only that the guy works with me. I am stuck, try to avoid him as much as I can, but what kills me is that he does not have a problem in this, and he is okay if we do not talk at work. He broke up several times in the past but we never stopped talking, this time, looks like he has a decision not to talk to me ever again. I hate myself, and i donno what to do...

If you mess around with a married man you are guaranteed to get hurt. He is married. That means that he is unavailable for another relationship. He is emotionally unavailable, physically unavailable and financially unavailable. His wife has his emotions, his physical presence and his finances. And guess what? That's EXACTLY the way it should be. I am so sick and tired of hearing women try to justify their actions by saying "well he came on to me and HE was the one who made the vows." People flirt all the time. If a married man comes on to a woman then that the woman needs to make the right moral choice and walk away. If he calls or texts, block his number. You don't have to fall to his advances. If you do then you are as culpable to breaking down his marriage as he is. And karma will come back to YOU.

Are you with a married man? Trust me, break it off now! It will hurt like hell but it can hurt like hell now or it can hurt like hell later, either way it is going to hurt! Might as well break it off now before you waste anymore time on this married man. He may send you flowers, candy, call you baby, tell you he loves you, makes future plans with you, plans trips with you, talks about moving in with you, goes apartment shopping for you, opens a seperate bank account, etc. All these things my MM did, by the way. A lot of people will tell you he lied to you, some of them do, but some of them get caught up in the moment, like you do. They aren't just lying to you, they are lying to themselves. They are living the fantasy, as you are, and you are eating it up. But that doesn't make it RIGHT! ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS and until he is already moved out with divorce papers in his hands, don't believe him! Don't waste your time ladies, if he hasn't left her by now, he won't leave her. And if you go tell his wife that he has been messing around, she doesn't always kick him out and that can backfire. I say TELL HER! His wife deserves to know, and then run...run far away. Make smart decisions and be strong ladies...you will get through it, I promise. It hurts now but you will get over it. Just learn from it and never ever date a married man again...EVER! You have to go through the storm before you see the rainbow and trust me ladies there is a rainbow!

Thank you so much. I needed to read something like this to feel better. I am so hurt and devastated right now. Thank you for your inspiring words.

Thank you so much, SoniSagra. You are wise. You have perhaps saved my life.

i to hav just been dumped by a mm, he was my friend for fifteen years before we started a seven month relationship, he is fifteen years older than me and has been married for thirty four years, grown up children, he is also a jehovas witness. I considered him my best friend, an he told me i was his soulmate. As bad as i feel i know he is devasted for hurting his wife and me, but he has to put his family first, i understand that. What hurts the most is i can never talk to him again, i have lost a best friend, and i know he is suffering to and his wife didnt deserve this. I have cryed so much, suicidal but i hav children, it is like a death, but he wont return my front door key. U never know what happens in the future, and one thing i know for a fact, somewhere a long the way they always come back. But it will be a very different situation wen he does. He will try and make it work but in time he will be back in that same place were something was missing, thats why he strayed in the first place. I know this man very well and it is the first time he has strayed, his guilt was huge, but he risked everything to make me happy when my dad died and i got depressed. He is not a bad man, We just had a conection we couldnt ignore, Oh my god, what a price to pay, But i still have hope for the future, Its very hard for any marraige to survive, and they can try for years but in reality when contnued To lie for seven months, because she keeped asking him, does he have a lover, he continued to lie over and over. I dont believe a marraige can survive such a huge betrayel for so long, they will be kidding themselves. In time it will end, and maybe i will get my friend back.

WOW. You're really gonna wait around on him. Wow wow wow..!!!!

I to am going thru this same situation. It hurts like h*** ! It started out as a business deal. I talked to him on the phone for months then we finally met in person. The phone calls n emails still continued months after the deal closed, then New Years Eve he popped over unannounced,this blew my mind. kissed me n left. Told stories of how his wife never there for him or the kids how she dont listen to him or have the same interests ( n even heard from mutual friends how she treats him bad but i guess he likes that sort of treatment). But that was two years ago. Now I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face cause I cant believe its over!!! My heart is aching for someone who said they need to get their life in order ???? i know i must be crazy for crying for someone who was never going to be mine but i am.the fact of the matter is i done sooo much for them and they done this to me. So to all you married bi's you are the ones that create woman like me - treat your husbands better cause one day they may actually leave you for the other woman n then you'll c how it feels to have your heart broken in a million pieces

Really you are the one who chose to be with a married man... You deserve all your pain for being so stupid and to believe you are something more special than the wife... And telling the Wives to hold onto the their husbands ...F.. K u if you wouldn't spread your legs so easily then they wouldn't bother with you..🐽🐽🐽
You are just a nasty disposable Ho... Tossed like a used condom... 🔥🔥Burn u Biyatch... Karma 😲

I'm not quite sure what any of you expected. Did you really think you were so special that they would leave their wives. They are MARRIED taken men who made promises to someone else... And they are now breaking those promises with you. Even if your the .1% that that marries the married man you do realize the minute he gets bored and tired of your *** he's gonna find some new fresh meat... <br />
So moral of the story ... Meet a married man turn around and walk away because you don't want to be his next disposable baggie...

Wow. I love your answer!

It helps so much to know I'm not alone. He dumped me 3 weeks ago, "because it's not fair to keep you caged and trapped". I then find out he's making a go of it with the wife he spent the last 3 years bitching about and loathing. He didn't have the guts to tell me this, and I have had a very bad few weeks feeling completely worthless. I was his "rock", he couldn't ever manage without me, he would say. But I was just an ego boost and counsellor for him until he could get his wife back. I veer from white hot anger to ardent self-pity, and just have to trust that the day will come when I can stop thinking about this massive injustice.

Married men that do this are narcisissts....this will help you get over him.... Same story for myself.....I have to accept who I thought was my "soulmate" is a sick individual...google narcisissm and chronic cheaters....it will explain a lot. These men are pigs! I was so used....it hurts me everyday!

Lexus , I feel for you, love can make u feel just as good as it does bad. Only u know what's best for you, imagine yr children as adults , what do u think they would want for you knowing everything u have been through with this guy. Maybe give yrself and yr presious heart a break for a while .. Feel and give unconditional love with yr children they are always worth yr time , love ..

Lexus , I feel for you, love can make u feel just as good as it does bad. Only u know what's best for you, imagine yr children as adults , what do u think they would want for you knowing everything u have been through with this guy. Maybe give yrself and yr presious heart a break for a while .. Feel and give unconditional love with yr children they are always worth yr time , love ..

so many similar stories. i am not sure how to begin. I am married &amp; became very attracted to someone who is completely out of my league. At first it was more of a challenge to see if I could get him to step out on his wife but only because he is supposedly a man with integrity, honestly, blah blah blah. to keep the story short, i emailed him a couple of times, then he sent me his personal cell # so we joked around a bit and it became pretty personal. the first time he said he couldn't do "this" because of his kids and career but we could be friends which is the ultimate kiss-off. I wasn't daunted, just made it more challenging. Gave him a day or two, more texts, then sexting, pictures, clandestine meetings, usually a whopping 5 minutes b/c he had to rush home. kissing him was like kissing a brick, only not as pleasant but I still wanted him. many conversations, groping, sending pictures upon demand, talking dirty upon demand, changing my plans to accommodate what would be "broken dates" which never failed but I kept trying. Why...I have no idea.. He always had an excuse, the kids were acting up, the furniture was delivered a day early, I forgot, I have to get home, gotta pick up the kids..one time even planned a group activity and I was supposed to be his "right hand person" and he tells me the night before, it's a no go...wifey's friend decided she wanted to go so would be his right hand person but oddly enough, the friend was a no show and he got mad at me because I was pissed off at him; i told him he was scared &amp; never had any intention of following thru; he never denied it, but never admitted it either. Kept letting him tell me what to do; pictures, meet me here after work for a whole 5 minutes...I feel like such an idiot for letting him control me like that; it took his sorry *** almost a year to kiss me...definitely not worth the wait...too mechanical and hurried. After I did everything he told me, I would ask for a picture.oh..camera is broken..can't do it..kids are here...too busy...am hunting...am this am that...when does the "here's your sign schmuch' finally reach the neurons? i pursue this ******* like no other and even tho he could't be straight with me this last time when I got the "well, I've got to work some things out" routine, he got mad because he said I read too much into it..um..what's NOT to read into it...you're telling me you're done with me, only different verbage, and I'm reading into it...then like the other say...see him at work and it's like, oh everything is peachy keen, now that he's cut himself free from the woman he fed a bunch of bullshit too but who ate it just as freely...he's good to go with his life, and his wife and his two kids and omg..i could go on....i can't seem to want to stop texting him or sending emails, that are work related..kind of just to aggravate the **** out of him because there really is no reason to do so...it's coincidental as to his timing because a new girl who is here to do some project, showed up with a friend of hers &amp; she is younger, skinnier, beautiful, educated, smart, unattached and b/c he is a creature of habit, he started doing the same things around her that he did with me &amp; I called him out on it. He says "We're still friends, it's not true and let them all talk" meaning the other people where I work...timing..so obvious and me so dumb for hanging on like a desperate stupid ***** sending text messages for really no reason..I hate myself for feeling like this and still hope he'll text me but know that "he's through with me being his playtoy," and has moved on to better things. why do we fall for this b.s.? I accomplished my task of getting him to a point where he would be considered a hypocrite if ever wanting to prosecute someone else for adultery so I should be happy but am not...I guess his fake *** words and compliments still resonate in my head because I didn't and don't feel sexy, althought I am decent looking, with an okay body, just a very volatile aggressive personality, and not afraid to call it the way I see it. <br />
I don't understand why I feel the need to be attractive to other men and lord have mercy they show me a little attention and my day went from suck to awesome...until the games begin and the b.s just picks up where it left off. I must be more insecure than I thought to put up with such crap, but I will say I gave him a good dose of crap too and he didn't like it because he wasn't "used to it." It's like wow...are you a ***** or what? I changed who I was, how i dressed and the way I did things to make him proud of me when i should have been making myself proud of me for not falling into the same trap I have before. do i hate him? No. he does what he is best at; putting on act like a politician does, his words seemingly genuine, his thoughts and actions real until he gets into "office," gets what he wants then drops you like a dirty rag not good enough to wipe the floor. If i knew why I had the need to pursue those who make others think they are so upstanding and not guilty of making mistakes, maybe I would be the kind of person who could recognize being used from the beginning when all the topic is about is my body..usually my breasts...then I would have more respect for myself and take pride in myself for me, not because my boobs are the best part of me; apparently they have a mind of their own because I sure can't carry a conversation that's worth a damn either. I'm not that smart or educated so have nothing to say.

WOW, so you wanted to se if you could get him to step away from his wife... YOU DESERVE THE MISERY...YOU ARE THE NARCISSITIC PIG HERE!!! YOU ARE A SICK DISGUSTING INDIVIDUAL...

Oh my life, I am so glad I read this. I too am being actively chased by a married man. I met him through mutual friends and then these friends who obviously know that he is married, gave him my contact details. Prior to realising he was married, we kissed. Nothing more. Of course he is drop-dead gorgeous, charming, funny etc. He turned up out of the blue on my birthday again finding out information from friends as to where I was which shocked me and I reiterated to him then that married men aren't my bag. I had the whole diatribe of staying together until the kids graduate, blah, blah, blah. It all seems pretty typical after reading the above. That they have an agreement, which I didn't believe. I have left it at that, though I know that he'll engineer to be in places that I am. The pursuit of me is overwhelming. I'm not sure how deal with it at all.

hi ladies...<br />
let me tell u my story briefly....i am a div woman with a small kid, my Married boyfriend who met my ex husband after i got div called me to enquire about him for his work and he came over to my house...we became friends and ofcourse...he started telling me how owfull his wife is...he promised that he will file for div and will marry me.that time his wife was pregnant....but now, after 2 yrs..the baby is 2 yrs old...he never got seperated from his wife...and never stopped telling me his loving stories,....finally i took a decision to move away from him....which i got failed 6 months ago...but this time...i DID it!!!!!!... he continued to be acting that he loved me to death....now that i am sooooooooooo happy that i got over from that B........, and now i am dating a single person who always have time for me and who will do anything for me...i call call him anytime of the day or night...and i can see him anytime....dont have to worry abt the wife!!!!!!!!<br />
ladies...please please...make your self strong and dont turn back at thiese jerks.....they are cheating on their wives,,,on you....bcoz from my experience.....i am telling you...while he was blaming his wife...i heard a voice mail from his wife with a loving words and with lots of love...and same time...i found 2 e mails from his inbox from other 2 woman or sex workers....so, pls dont trust them...and dnt listen to their sugar coated words...my guy is telling me now that he will pray that he shd get me in his next life...hahahahah.....

hi ladies...<br />
let me tell u my story briefly....i am a div woman with a small kid, my Married boyfriend who met my ex husband after i got div called me to enquire about him for his work and he came over to my house...we became friends and ofcourse...he started telling me how owfull his wife is...he promised that he will file for div and will marry me.that time his wife was pregnant....but now, after 2 yrs..the baby is 2 yrs old...he never got seperated from his wife...and never stopped telling me his loving stories,....finally i took a decision to move away from him....which i got failed 6 months ago...but this time...i DID it!!!!!!... he continued to be acting that he loved me to death....now that i am sooooooooooo happy that i got over from that B........, and now i am dating a single person who always have time for me and who will do anything for me...i call call him anytime of the day or night...and i can see him anytime....dont have to worry abt the wife!!!!!!!!<br />
ladies...please please...make your self strong and dont turn back at thiese jerks.....they are cheating on their wives,,,on you....bcoz from my experience.....i am telling you...while he was blaming his wife...i heard a voice mail from his wife with a loving words and with lots of love...and same time...i found 2 e mails from his inbox from other 2 woman or sex workers....so, pls dont trust them...and dnt listen to their sugar coated words...my guy is telling me now that he will pray that he shd get me in his next life...hahahahah.....

cant believe it happened to me. i've suffered from being heartbroken for 2 weeks and living like a walking dead. cant believe he dumped me and came back to his wife and they both laughed at me. cant stand feeling i was just a joke to them. i totally cant understand wat's going on, how can he treat me like that.<br />
<br />
His wife knew very well about his relationship at the very beginning and she said she was ok with this. so i felt ok since i thought they were done with each other. he was my world! he showed up in my life and taught me how to become a woman and he made me a woman. he was always there when i needed him. he kept saying he needed me and would always be there for me, ALWAYS! We even talked about building up our own family, having babies, and doing business together. i always trusted him and dreamed about a future with him. in the last 2 years, his wife and he were apart and they rarely talked (as he told me) but he never said he wanted to get a divorce (now i realize that). when i brought up this issue, he just told me not to worry. i fought with him, cried many times since he never told me the exact answer but i believed he loved me and wanted to hav a future with me.<br />
<br />
After 2 years being with me, all of a sudden, his wife showed up 2 weeks ago. now he's been stuck around with her and left me alone. i understand i lost him but just cant understand how things could happen that way. how could people act like that. he just left me! that's it. i cant stop thinking about sweet, crazy things we did together. how can i survive being dumped like this? feeling like he just played around with my heart and he was just a master. im feeling hurt and angry too.<br />
<br />
Wat should i do?

My first question is: Why would a marry man cheat on his wife? Isn't it maybe her fault that she may not be doing something right? Why would he look outside if she is so perfect?<br />
<br />
My next question is: Why would a single woman go with a married man?<br />
Thats where my story begins.I am 26 and i met my MM at work.He is my boss which makes my situation a whole lot more complicated.I got all the right lines:<br />
1. I love you and you are the best thing that ever happened to me<br />
2. I never knew i could be this happy<br />
3. My wife treats me bad and i am gonna file for a divorce<br />
4. I cant live without you,you are my everything<br />
5. I pray everyday that we can be together<br />
<br />
I guess we have all heard those lines and for some reason a married man knows exactly how to treat you right.He knows exactly what you want,what you need,what you love in bed,what you wanna hear,he knows all the right things to do and say. He knows how to make you feel like a queen!<br />
<br />
Ladies,my heart is aching because i believed this jerk. Out of the blue he just came and said " I love you but i realise now that i have a lot of complications and i think you should move on. I dont see this working again. Our 11 months must come to an end".I was devasted and to make it worst he started victimising me when i said i wanted to talk about it and when i wanted to know the real reason.<br />
<br />
I couldnt handle it and i ended up googling "how to deal with a breakup with a married man " and came across this blog.<br />
<br />
Honestly,you gals are right , if he could lie to his wife then he can surely lie to me.I know i am wrong in all of this.I know it wasn't right but for some reason, everything seems to fall into place to make it seem right and perfect.I love his more than anyting and having to face him everyday rips my heart out of my chest.<br />
<br />
My advice to you girls is to run! Run as far away as you can because it is not worth it.They will just hurt you.I wish i had read this blog before falling in love but i guess this is how i needed to learn a lesson.Even though i hold a Masters in Management, i should have let my common sense prevail and think with my head instead of my heart.<br />
<br />
Keep strong because Time heals all wounds and most importantly,pray and ask for forgiveness because as humans we all make mistakes.And remember,what goes around comes around......