The Surprise Dumping

So, I'll start with a bit of background. I met my boyfriend 10 months ago and we fell madly in love almost instantly (within a week he was calling me his girlfriend, I had met most of his friends and we both had goofy smiles on our faces). He is 28, I'm 25 and we are both out-going, confident and good looking (well I would say that) individuals.

Going out with, shall we call him T... going out with T opened my eyes to the possibilities that I could love and could be loved which I had previously doubted as many people I'm sure do. T was the driving force in our relationship from day one - he called the shots (probably my first mistake). He knew what he wanted - and that was me. He was always very good at telling me how much he loved me and how important I was to him. He even asked me to move in with him after we had been together for about 8 months.

So in my eyes I had the most wonderful bf who loved me very much and wanted to live with me - life was good. That is until about 11.00 this morning...

On Friday night (last night) I came over to his place and cooked him dinner and we watched a couple of movies (Wall-E and Zombieland - and I recommend both for completely different reasons). He was tired so we went to sleep sans sex. I woke early this morning as did T when he began to caress me and made love to me. 

No less than an hour later, when we had showered and got ready for the day, he was breaking up with me... 'I love you very much but I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you'. To say the least I was in total shock - the boy I love was breaking my heart and I hadn't seen it coming.

I know that I am still in denial - I am still in his flat while writing this and plan to go to the theatre with him this evening (a b-day present I bought for him) - but I just don't understand. He obviously has put so much pressure on himself to find a girl to marry (his friends are all getting married and having babies etc) but I find this ridiculous. He plans to get married at 30 I presume and because I am not the one that's it. Is this the way to live your life, to put time constraints on yourself - can you ever be happy if your life plan overrides being happy with someone in the now? I very much live in the now and don't much think about whether I will be in the same job, town in the next five years let alone if I am going to be with the person I am with for the rest of my life. Unfortunately for me that's obviously how he thinks.

I'm heart broken and confused but the thing that is driving me mad is I know that he loves me and I haven't done anything wrong so there is nothing I can do or learn from - it's simple I am just not the girl for him.

The thing I hate about breakups when your the dumpee is that the dumper has all the power - he knew he was going to break up with me this morning, so he knew that last night was our last night together and this morning was the last time we were going to make love - but I didn't. I feel like I've missed out on savouring our last kiss and our last ****. And he got to do that. 

I feel right this moment completely lost but I'm not going to be forever and that is what is keeping me from crying for the rest of the weekend.

Finally a message to everyone who is going through the same thing - it just wasn't meant to be and our next chance at happiness is just around the corner...


lostbutnotloney lostbutnotloney
22-25, F
Mar 13, 2010