That's All That Matters

THAT'S RIGHT!! Don't ever listen to anyone tell you anything about your own marriage! It you two against the world sometimes, and outside forces can be harmful. There may be one or two people you can listen to in your life, but they may also have agendas and hurts that are reflected through their "advice." (I am reflecting my own bad experiences in this very post filled with advice.. see?)

My husband and I got married because I was pregnant (GASP). Every single time I hear someone say, "Pregnancy isn't a good reason to get married," I think, "You silly, ignorant person." Really, what would be a "good" reason to get married? Stock options?

Sometimes, the most looked-down upon marriages turn out to be the most wonderful, because the two people in that relationship are brought closer because of the outside negativity.

Again, through my own experience, I have found that marriage isn't always perfect and it takes some hard work and upkeep (like marriage books and seminars and counseling), but it is SO WORTH the effort!

Congratulations!! Shake them haters off!!

Chop

You didn't say much about your love life. But somehow, from what you've written, i think and feel it's beautiful. I don't know how else to say it. This is going to sound corny, but i'll say it anyway. It makes my heart overflow with love and passion for my fiance. Just by reading what you wrote. Just when i was broken and thought love could never walk into my life again, a pastry chef walked in and swept me off my feet with his strawberry cheesecake(my fav.) without me even realising it. His patience and endurance has given me new wings to fly with and i love him to the very depth of my soul. I read somewhere that ' you love a woman not because she's beautiful, but she's beautiful because you love her.' Truly, from the bottom of my heart, i wish the both of you a lifetime of happiness and peace. May God bless the both of you with joy and peace.

You both are young so what, so you have all the life time to be happy fo each other and both of you have the life time to give happiness to each other so move on and keeo each other happy for life time and thats all that counts. The rests just shadows which dont count at all and dont you ever try to follow the shodows as you will never be able to do so . Be happy and keep each other happy is what i will adive you both

I identify completely. Neither my nor my boyfriend's parents think we're cut out for marriage but we feel so solid and so in love. I am so happy for you that it has worked out... I hope it continues to be as blissful... the one piece of advice I would offer is to never EVER forget to cherish the other and wait for them to cherish you. If you feel left out or annoyed, make the extra effort to be loving. Be the change you wish to see in the world, Ghandi said. Apply that to marriage and it will be a happier one.

I hate to rain on your parade and, while I don't doubt the trueness of your love, I am hoping that you didn't make a mistake. At 17 you haven't experienced much of life. Have you finished school? Planned a career? Is your husband planning on a militart career? Are ready to move around the country as his assignments change? How does planning a family fit in?

On the positive side, my nephew who is in his twenties, joined the marines and married a girl who has a naval career. They are happily married and living in San Diego. But, even that meant relocating thousands of miles from family and friends. Are ready for that?

Sorry about the questions, but that's what we parental types think about.

Upstate, I hardly think reflecting on whether it was a mistake is going to help now. Planning is still relevant, so I encourage that, but contemplating the path not taken will only help cause problems.

Do think about how you're going to continue with your education, get jobs, and build a home and family... You have a sense of solidarity few at your age can boast about. Protect it. But also enjoy the spontaneity that comes with being 17!

i also got married young and got them same talks..

been married 6 months now and going strong..

as long as you and him know its the best thats what matters. trust me..

Hi "new persons". I say that because I am an "ancient person" in comparison to you adorable love birds.

Here is something to consider in your arguments.

1. Love is not something that you can make up.
2. Love does not show up just to be swept under the rug.
3. Whether or not you stay together forever, you will always remember this wonderful time in your lives.
4. When you want love to continue, it does have to be fed.
5. Feed love with the following things: (Tell those who are "nay saying" your marriage that you have this basic list to follow. Their eyes will get wide, mouths will drop open, and they will figure that you actually know a great deal about life and love.)

a. Never use the "D" word ( I will divorce you because...)
b. Find something you genuinely like about your mate several times a day and tell it to them.
c. For every negative that you must discuss ( things like you left the toolthpaste cap off, or I had to clean up the water splashes you left alll over the sink and deck, or I wish you would not..) give at least 3 positives to your mate in that day.
e. Look at your mate when they speak to you, when it is something important to your mate, look at them AND stop all other activity so that you can truly listen and they know that you care enough to stop what you are doing.
f. Do your finances together. Have separate checking but share savings. Choose what bills are paid by whom. And have a certain amount for self up kep and for gift giving. Be faithful to pay those bills on time. Show that you are able and willing to give up IMMEDIATE gratification so that you can meet bills and make savings toward your goals.
g. Remember their birthday, your anniversary, other personal special days, AND the birthdays of those who are close to both of you.
h. do what they like as often as you can. It can be getting tickets to something, making favorite food, being home during a certain meal, having coffee together in the morning, back rubs, picking and aranging flowers, setting out candles, wearing their favorite perfume, whatever it is, never stop doing it.
i.NEVER ever say that they are dumb, stupid, slow, "special", ugly, and etc.
They must always feel that they are acceptable and loved.

You can show disappointment and demand their best effort when they break the rules or bonds of friendship, marital findelity, fincial agreement or rules of safety.

Good luck as you think about this and form the boundaries of your special relationship.

R

Wow! Is it legal in your country to be married at 17? In my country the female has to be at least 18 years old, and the male has to be at least 21 years old to be eligible to marry.