I Just Had My First Kiss
So, as you can tell.. my username is no longer me, but part of me wishes it was. Until a few weeks ago i had never had a boyfriend, went on a date, or even been acknowledged by the opposite sex. so i admit i was desperate to know what a relationship felt like. I decided to make an account on myyearbook.com to meet people in my area. one day when i posted a status with my cell phone number, I got a ext from a man named kevin, we texted back and forth, i found out he was 18 and lived one town over from me.
after a few weeks of talking we decided we should meet up. we met up at the mall and immediately he was very physical toward me, but i liked it at first, i liked that he held my hand and put his arm around me and everything.. at some point while we were walking around he leaned in to kiss me and i panicked and turned my face so he just kissed my cheek, then shortly after i looked at him and he leaned in again and pressed his lips against mine... it was nothing special honestly.. it wasn't delicate and sweet it was rough and rushed and i didnt feel butterflies or anything like the girls in those romance movies.. it was just a kiss.
still we went along and talked and as one point he stopped and looked at me i faced him and leaned in as he leaned in and gave me an opened mouthed kiss i had no idea what i was doing, i just followed his lead and i liked it.. i loved the feeling of kissing...that day we found a quiet private place and made out fr hours, he got really hard and started jacking off while I was kissing and biting his neck and moaning in his ear, he loved it. and i didnt mind, at one point he asked me to stroke him, and i did for a bit, but he finished himself off.
since then we have met a total of three times in the past week or so and i have already given him 4 blow-jobs.. i have no idea why i moved so fast, now this relationship is nothing how ii expected or wanted.. the problem is I still have no love, respect, or attraction for myself.. honestly i wish i could just love myself... its probably the hardest thing i have ever tried to do
now im sittng here waiting for him to call, but he never does...it makes me wonder if he even cares... im going to college soon and im seriouly considering ending this relationship already i dont think im ready at all
after a few weeks of talking we decided we should meet up. we met up at the mall and immediately he was very physical toward me, but i liked it at first, i liked that he held my hand and put his arm around me and everything.. at some point while we were walking around he leaned in to kiss me and i panicked and turned my face so he just kissed my cheek, then shortly after i looked at him and he leaned in again and pressed his lips against mine... it was nothing special honestly.. it wasn't delicate and sweet it was rough and rushed and i didnt feel butterflies or anything like the girls in those romance movies.. it was just a kiss.
still we went along and talked and as one point he stopped and looked at me i faced him and leaned in as he leaned in and gave me an opened mouthed kiss i had no idea what i was doing, i just followed his lead and i liked it.. i loved the feeling of kissing...that day we found a quiet private place and made out fr hours, he got really hard and started jacking off while I was kissing and biting his neck and moaning in his ear, he loved it. and i didnt mind, at one point he asked me to stroke him, and i did for a bit, but he finished himself off.
since then we have met a total of three times in the past week or so and i have already given him 4 blow-jobs.. i have no idea why i moved so fast, now this relationship is nothing how ii expected or wanted.. the problem is I still have no love, respect, or attraction for myself.. honestly i wish i could just love myself... its probably the hardest thing i have ever tried to do
now im sittng here waiting for him to call, but he never does...it makes me wonder if he even cares... im going to college soon and im seriouly considering ending this relationship already i dont think im ready at all
Age:
16-17
