My Dad Is My Rock, He's Always Been There.

As the title says. My dad is my rock. He's supportive, loving, understanding, forgiving, everything someone could want in a father. He was my best friend when I was little, I was and still am a daddy's girl. When I got hurt, he'd be the only one I wanted comfort from. And now he has small cell lung cancer in the final stages, and he's being beat down by chemo, radiation, nasty side effects, pain.... It breaks my heart. I'm not ready to let him go. I just had his second granddaughter, and he was so excited to be there for every first, and now we know he won't be. It's hard to be around him because even though we don't say it, we know every visit is one closer to the final one. If I think about this at all, no matter what I'm doing or where I am, I break down. I cry like a little kid, just body shaking sobs. I can't control it. I can't bear the thought of MY Dad not being around anymore. He's the only stability I have in my family. No one else acts like they care. He treats me with respect, acts happy to see me, never judges me, tells me he's proud of me, tells me I've done a great job as a mother and no one else, not even my own mother or sisterhas told me those things. But that's a different story for a different day... Toxic family relationships.... But it's my dad.... How will I ever deal with this... I don't feel like I will ever get through it, I can't even manage thinking about it or talking bout it. When will it get easier... I don't Wanna lose him yet, not yet. It's not fair....
LiveloveJ LiveloveJ
31-35, F
1 Response Jan 7, 2013

I hope your father somehow beats cancer and lives for many many more years.

Thank you, I appreciate that! I wish he would...