Am I Reading Too Much Into This?

My fiance and I have a mutualy friend that we have met online from a game we play. We have known her for over a year now and I have gotten to talk with her quite a bit. She knows I am bi and we have discussed many sexual things. She has always maintained that she is completely straight. I have seen in the last 2 months that she is becoming more and more sexually frustrated because of not getting much action. I can identify with her on that. We are both in commited relationships but we and our partners are ok with adding some spice with virtual sex play. Now, as of a convo from last week she still had NO desire to experiment with women. She jokingly mentioned having a 3some with me and my fiance, but that I would have to be dissappointed since she has no interest in same sex intercourse.

Within the last week, I noticed her talking more and more about having a 3some and talking about sexual things and how the three of us need to hang out more. Then in the last two days she has begun flirting with me. today being VERY blatantly flirting with me. Then asking about my fiance, if he was going to be online. Then started talking again about if we decided to have a 3some.

I am feeling very uncomfortable with this. I feel like she realized that to have anything to do with him, I need to be included. Obviously I am not wanting to lend out my man for my friend, so I think she is trying to get me to feel like this would be for me as well. I can't see how she could change from being completely straight to being bi or bi-curious in a weeks time. I feel like she is just using me to get some action with my fiance and I am hurt about it. Am I reading into this too much? Could she genuinly have been intrigued by the things I have shared and decided to give it a try? I am doubtful.
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4 Responses Nov 25, 2012

"I feel like she realized that to have anything to do with him, I need to be included"

My take exactly. Trust your gut.... it will never let you down. I'd nip this in the bud and have a talk with her; it doesn't have to be unkind. What's happening right now is not good, so make the effort to end it now.

I think your right. You will just be a third wheel. Trust your instincts on this one.

Perhaps she was just telling you she was straight, to follow the company line. Maybe she's finally decided to investigate her secret feelings. If she is just interested in him, maybe this one time it can be all about him. Ok I have no frame of reference for a 3 some, but it stands to reason, someone isn't gonna be happy with how things go.
Just go into it knowing she may or may not return the favor of you going down on her while she mouth hugs your boyfriend.

You're probably right. I was playing devils advocate. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. And you need to keep an eye on her, because now she thinks she might have a way to get to him. Be careful, you were nice to me and I would hate to see you get hurt. :)

faefaye, go with what your gut instinct is telling you on this. Anytime I have ever second guessed myself and doubted my gut feeling I've been sorry. If need be, have a talk with her and be completely honest with what you think. If she is a real friend she'll explain and help you see past those thoughts. If she gets all angry and huffy she'll only show her true colors. Sometimes problems like this are best brought out into the open. Some people are tricky and when they realize you see thru them they get hostile but better it comes out now rather then later..... Good luck with this.

I see what you mean but in my mind, somebody using me, to get to my hubs isn't much of a friend anyways....but that's just the way I think. Your guy already ended it in saying he doesn't want to deal with her.... :)