Well, I Guess This Is Goodbye

We were friends for eleven years. We've fought. We've cried. But we've always made up. Then this other girl came into the picture. She seemed so sweet, but she was... controlling. After I lost my best friend, I asked around and realized alot of other people felt the same way about the girl. She stole my best friend and I felt like I was fighting a war trying to keep her around. I kept telling myself, "our friendship is bigger than this, our friendship is bigger than this." I guess it wasn't.
It was all of our faults. I got angry, my best friend was confused, the other girl got defensive. And then I guess we all just decided to let it go. I want my best friend back. I feel so lonely. We weren't just friends, we were like sisters, but we were growing apart. We used to tell each other everything. But we were both so competitive. I was jealous of how easily her family got along. She was jealous of my singing voice. But in a way, it sort of balanced everything out. We just avoided the topics we were sensitive about, now I see that was a mistake.
I don't know why I'm writing this. It just happened. I guess I want an outlet and I don't want to make another mistake by talking to the wrong person.
Why do people have to be so competitive? Why do we feel like we have to fight to hold on for something that was never pulling away? And then when you really talk about these things, she will pull away.
xojessixo xojessixo
13-15
Jul 10, 2010