I Lost The Only Person Who Understood Me

I didn't lose her recently, she died almost 5 years ago but i still have trouble believing it at times. the real reason i can't get over it is because i feel guilty about it. she died of a heart attack right in front of me and i couldn't call ffor help in time. i've developd insomnia over the last couple of years and i keep thinking about her and how life would've been easier if she were around. i'm not whether what i'm going through is normal or if i need help.
kaylie26 kaylie26
18-21, F
6 Responses Aug 28, 2012

hi kaylie............please dont feel sad i know exactly how u feel. Remember one thing please dont blame urself. It never helps. I too had problems accepting I still have I still cant forgive myself u know. But I know that u cant fight destiny.............if something is about to happen it will happen , but yes ofcourse we should try to do our best. Please have peace in mind because u know ur mom is with God and watching over u . Your mother would never want u to be sad so try to get over it u will with time.

I lost my mother unexpectedly only 10 days ago and I know exactly how you feel. It feels terrible and even I can't forgive myself for not taking enough care for her or not helping her at the time of need. People who love me tell me that it is destiny and that nobody does anything willfully so I am trying to get over my guilt and try to forgive myself but I know it will haunt me forever.

Im sorry for what you are going through, we do not have our life in our hand, God do, he have it already written down what was going to happen, it's not your fault, I pray that God take that burden off of you.

Being guilty over a death of someone may just be a normal phase even if it has been almost 5 years since that day. In the end, you just have to learn to get used to the life you have now without the only person you claimed to have understood you. When you get used to that life, eventually you would be able to accept her loss, that your mom's life on earth is really over. Forgive yourself for anything you think you have done wrong in the past, embrace your current situation, and live like the future has a lot to offer. Always live in the present, and look forward to what tomorrow can bring, for the past is already over and it wouldn't help if you keep on going back because you cannot change anymore the past that has been done.

Your brave, I wish the best for you.
Stay strong and use her love to fight her lose.

as you would be knowing body has a valid period set on earth and has to depart someday n in case of our loved ones its a matter big loss for our lifes ..... but tht does not mean that you should feel sad about it ur whole life. you need to let go your past and live ur future in name of ur mom and makin her proud being lovable to other person who r currently part of ur life n love u too...... we cannot change the past but the future lies within us .... so live life large size ... be happy keep other happy :-)