A Brain Aneurysm Took My Mother

I'm 16 years old and just lost my mother to a brain aneurysm on December 1st. No one knew she had bleeding in her brain. Not even herself. I miss my mom dearly and I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. She was driving when she had died, I guess the bleeding in her brain had caused her to have a heart attack. It is now December 5th and I haven't cried since she passed away. It hasn't really effected me, though I do think about her from time to time and get sad. She was taken from me too quickly and too early. Why? Why is she gone? Why am I not crying? Why is my mothers death not effecting me the way it's effecting everyone else in my family? I would do anything to get her back. She was my best friend, love of my life, she was my heart. I didn't even cry when I saw her body in the hospital bed. I just rubbed her arm, rubbed her face and said, " oh, mom." , and walked out the room. Why didn't I cry? Why am I not feeling any emotions about her death?
Plasg2012 Plasg2012
18-21, F
4 Responses Dec 5, 2012

My mom passed away from a brain annerism feb 19th. She left my father my brother and I. I'm sixteen my brother is 20 and my dad is 56. She donated her organs and saved 4 lives. I'm LDS so my beliefs may not be the same as yours. I felt the same way, I didn't cry for the first week or two. Right now that's different, I'm a mess all I do is cry. I miss her so much! My grandma (her mom) died of a stroke but was in a coma for 6 months I never understood how she felt about her mom passing until my own mom died. I don't know what to do.. I just would like advice on how you managed? Or still cope and manage.

hey love. i'm 16 as well! and wow, she saved 4 lives. that is absolutely amazing!! you know what? all you have to do is feel it. honey, i know it's painful. it is so painful. its been 15 months for me and last night i cried and i was hurting so bad and i prayed to my mom for her to wrap her arms around me and protect me because the loss was just so painful. and you're gonna have days like that. and maybe you have more days like now but that is OKAY. what you are feeling is okay. you need allow yourself to feel it. it's all part of the process. later on, you'll be glad you let yourself feel it. it hurts to the point where it's breathtakingly painful. no one can take this hurt away from you. you just have to keep going, you have to survive. you just wake up everyday and keep breathing. that's how you cope and manage. it's gonna be okay, i promise. you're strong and i'm here for you okay? sending you love and hugs <3 i'd hold you tonight if i could. just close your eyes and picture your mommy holding you or hugging you, it brings me peace. also, i listen to some of her favourite songs and i feel instantly connected at times. and it's okay if you don't, because sometimes i dont either and for a really long time, i didn't. hang in there ok love <3 and message me for anything. xo take care

Hi Dancegirl01, I agree with euphorichigh. When you wake up in the morning and smell that fresh air, see the sun shining and the wild little animals scurrying around outside it makes you feel a lot better. It very heart braking mother passed away, I felt the same way when my mom passed but its very extraordinary that she was able to save four lives!!!! I have moments when I break down and cry or get angry but I thank God of the time that I had with her. When I do have my moments I try and do other things that makes me feel better, like listening to my favorite band( kings of leon) or drawing, or playing with my rats( I know, very weird for a girl to have) :), but they make me feel 110% better. Losing a loved one, especially your mother is something that you can NEVER get over but it's something that you can live with. By that I mean that, even though your loved or mom passed away it doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. What I say to myself is that it wasn't actually her that died but it was just her physical body. She will ALWAYS be with you and be there for you! Trust me, when you feel down about something just think about her, think about her huge, warm loving hugs and kisses she gave you. Think about all those times she stayed up with you because you were sick or something was bothering you. Our mothers may not be here with us but there love is! You just gotta feel it! Cherish it! And remember it! Our mothers don't want to see their little girls mad, sad, or hurt, they wanna see us smiling, laughing and being happy. They want us to grow up and be outstanding young women, they want to see us doing something with our lives, they want us to grow up and accomplish all of our goals and be successful in life!!! So when we do, we can say" Man, my mother is surely proud of me!" Hang in there, as time goes on it will get better. Our mothers will always be with us and I know for a fact, they still love us. 💘

i completely understand you.. i lost my mom to cancer a year ago. they told me she wasn't gonna make it and i bawled my eyes out. that was the first time it really hit me and i cried so much. i didn't get a chance to accept the fact that she was dying and then she died very soon after. i cried a bit but i was just so numb. you're numb. and you know, in a few months when you need her and she's not there, the grief is going to hit you and it will be hard. but im here for you.. just message me. i understand 100% im also 16. there's days when i cry and there's day when i just simply don't feel anything. know that everyone deals in their own way. know that your mom loves you with her whole heart and she didn't want to leave you. don't ever feel guilty for what you're feeling or not feeling. everyone deals in their own way. know that you were enough for her and you gave her what you could. she loves you. it's a long grieving process and it's difficult but you can and will get through this. we both will. stay strong my dear and she loves you. she's apart of you now, she's forever in your heart.

Thank you for your very uplifting words. I get better everyday and I have come to realize that even though she's not here physically, she's here spiritually. I can definitely feel her in me sometimes. Thank you so much. (((Hugs)))

Hey I know how you feel. I am fourteen, but I was nine when I lost my mother to a brain aneurysm. I didn't cry for an entire week. I remember at her funeral I looked at her in the casket, touched her face and told her "I love you" because I didn't get to say it before she left me. I never cried until they closed her casket because I felt that I would never see her again. Its not unusual that you aren't crying. You are probably still in shock. I was in shock and denial for a long time and rarely cried. Once I accepted it was when my emotions came back. I am so sorry for your loss! Take it from someone who has gone through this; it will get better. The pain will never go away, but life goes on and you need to face it head on. I believe in you!

It's was very tough in the beginning but as the days go by I get better and better. It's still hard to believe that she's gone because she was just with me a couple of hours before she passed away. I'm happy to know that I'm not the only young person going through this. It's a very tough situation. Thank you for replying to my post and sharing your story. I will take your advice and just keep pushing. You don't know how much better you made me feel. :)

Its shock. I had an ex once that died right after I left him and I was just like hmm... for a while then it just kinda knocked me down. I know its not really the same situation but I also work in health and shock is natural in a situation like this. I am so so sorry for your loss. Losing people is no cake walk. I hope it gets better for you.

Thank you so much. I'm getting better as time goes on. I'm just hoping and praying that my heart will heal and this void in my life will be filled someday.

i'm glad<3 you will have your days, love. nothing can fill the hole your mom has left you with. the loneliness you will feel is almost unbearable at times but it does get easier. you will be happy again, maybe not in the same way but we both will. there will be days when it's like why? i want my mom, it's not fair! and it hurts. but there are days when you feel her in the most magical, heartwarming way and it's beautiful. those moments almost make up for all the low days. just remember she is in your heart and she is SO proud of you and she loves you. do not feel guilty for feeling. you have a right to feel any and every emotion that you are feeling.

You're absolutely right in every way. Your words have just put a huge smile on my face. I would love for us to stay in contact and maybe exchange some messages every now and then. If you don't mind.

of course (: i dont really know how to work this thing haha so just message me.

Ok. Thank you. I will be messaging you soon.

2 More Responses