Mom

I didn't just lose my mom, it's been 5 years and 4 months, she died on December 3rd, 2004. She'd first gotten cancer in 2001, but it went into recession. Then she got it again, and then again. She had gotten better from cancer in her lymphnodes across her chest and then a few months later she started getting really terrible headaches. She'd always had migrains, but this was so bad that moving hurt, and not moving hurt. She fell unconcious out of our truck when we came back from a camping trip in August 2004. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. After only a month, she was healing from cancer laying on top of her brain. She came home in October, with a hospital bed, IV, meds like crazy, and a PSW. My sister and I came home from school two weeks after she came home, and she was ranting that her leg was broken and that my younger sister had to drive her because I was too young. My dad and my sister's godparents were there with her. That was possibly the scariest moment of my life. We found out that the doctor that set up her home care had messed up on the morphine calculations and had given her 3x what she should have gotten. She went back to the hospital and they found that the cancer had started moving down her spine. They put a tube in her head for treatment. My dad spent all his time at the hospital or at work. He would take us with him on Satuardays. One day, we walked in and stood against the wall, and my mom smiled and said "Hi," then she looked at my dad and asked "Where are my girls?" Not even losing her hurt as badly as that moment. We went once more, but my mom was in so much pain, all she could do was have my dad move her and scream. It wasn't even really a scream because she didn't have the strength. That was early November. After that she stopped opening her mouth, no talking, no eating, she wouldn't even let my dad brush her teeth. December 2nd, my dad came home and said, "I just wanted to let you girls know, mom let me brush her teeth tonight. And when I was done she smiled at me. I think she might go soon." December 3rd was a Friday, the phone rang at about 6:30am and it woke me up. I knew it was the hospital, I just turned my alarm clock off and went back to sleep. My dad came in afterwards and told me I wasn't going to school that day. The next day I went to my best friend's 16th birthday party, but left early. The funeral was the next Monday.

My mom was named Beth, she was born July 7th, 1953. She was 51 when she died and she looked 46. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Her smile was so beautiful, that every sunset and sunrise is jealous of it. People have tried to convince me that I smile just like her, but my sister is closer.

I lost my mom at 15, 27 days away from being 16. I've since graduated, driven a car, gone to college, gotten my first boyfriend, fallen in love, moved out of the house, lost almost all my high school friends, had friends get married, had friends have kids, had friends move to another country, been to a bar, and smoked my first cigarette. Life has changed, renewed, gone on. I've had amazing times, good times, bad times. I'm happier than when I was younger! But nothing will ever erase this, nothing will ever heal it. Pain doesn't fade with time, it's just hidden behind it. And it will always come back. I don't write that to be negative, it's positve in fact, because it means that you truely loved them.

This year, on July 7th, I'm getting my first tattoo. My mom had a business involved with fashion, and the logo was a butterfly. She loved that job, and I loved helping her with it. So I'm getting that butterfly tattooed on the back of my neck, for my Mom. 母、あいたくて、愛してる。Never forget the ones you love.

ForgetMeNot24 ForgetMeNot24
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 14, 2010

I won't say anything except that....Your Mum will always be with you!<br />
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I can say that as my DAD died due to complications with Alzheimers!<br />
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My Late Great Dad,was a big strong man in life who loved his family!<br />
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Toward the end, he was a shadow of the man I loved and knew!<br />
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A couple of years after his Death, He appeared in the Bedroom of my family home and gave me<br />
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a hug!,....saying....I LOVE YOU, See You Soon!<br />
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I am 57!....You will always have your parents with you!( Does this sound stupid//)<br />
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