Just Need to Know Why?!

I've had enough... I just don't get it. Every time I find a smile it gets lost again. I find someone to laugh with... not a damn relationship, not a ******* lay... just a no strings, conversation kinda person and they don't get it. I don't want anything, there are no strings I just want to smile for a minute... just a smile to keep me going for one more damn day. Why is that so ******* hard! I'M FALLING HERE AND BEGGING FOR HELP AND I'M GETTING ****! I don't know what i really want in life but if a few minutes of playing, laughing, smiles is all I need to make it through then what's the problem. Everyone has their own way of living... everyone has their own version of "play" and "smiles". I'll take what ever their version is. You want to talk, I can talk, you want to cuddle... here I am. Deeper adult conversation, been there, done that. Being an adult is great and gives you the right to make these different relationships work So why do ppl read into things and make it more than it should be. I'm only trying to ******* survive here... work with me damn it! I can't make the freaking signs any bigger... I need to come back up soon, falling sucks and it's going too deep this time. PLEASE! I can't cry anymore over this.......
mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality
36-40, F
3 Responses Jul 4, 2007

put the gun away honey. I got lots of smiles for ya! :) :) :) :) ......<br />
<br />
any of those work??? ;)<br />
..... hope your day is better now.

... but all I want is a few laughs and smiles.... not too much to ask. i think I'm pretty good at returning the favor. If someone's down, no matter how dark a hole I'm in, I'll help bring them up. Even though I might be loading the shot gun at that very minute, I'll stop and make sure they are ok... and then continue to load.

Maybe your expectations of people are higher than what they should be. I think expectations are a bad thing in general. Invariably if you have expectations they will sometimes not be met so you set yourself up for failure in a way. I'm not saying you shouldn't expect happiness but on an individual basis I wouldn't try to make people be what you want or expect of them.