February 22, 2009

Life is so hard. Then you get thrown a curve ball like the death of your spouse. It wasn't like he had been sick and we new that this was coming. It was just like that. Here on minute gone the next. Everything that use to be normal is no longer the same. Everything has changed.

I now find myself trying to just cope with each hour of the day. It's like a game I play with myself to keep me going. I try to stay strong for the kids and everyone else around me but that is becoming rather hard.

Everyone asks "how are you" and I always reply "Okay". I'm not okay I'm lost, confused, scared, tired, and hurt. I haven't even really come to terms with his death. It still hasn't registered that he's not coming back. This is it. This is final. Yet I still haven't come to grips with it. I'm not sure when that will happen. I know that until then I won't feel content or maybe I never will. I guess only god and time will tell.
 

imsum1 imsum1
36-40, F
Feb 22, 2009