A Day

 

 

Hey You,

I sit here twenty feet or so above the Creek, stained brown from this years fallen leaves. It trickles ever so slowly along. In front of me is a half acre or so of Wild Grasses, that whip in the breeze like lost Soldiers, trying to organize themselves for Battle. Beyond the Grass the Corn rises slowly to the North, swaying in unison like a million silhouettes. Behind me is the Woods, open yet confined, one could easily get misdirected there. Take it from someone who knows. LOL But not today, I sit high above it all disappearing into the mass no more ominous than the Breeze itself. Which I might add is quite sharp today. In the Tree next to me a Fox Squirrel re-insulates his Den with new Leaves, as I am sure some have recently blown away. It seems to be a daily ritual for him. I am quite certain he knows I am there but threaten him not. He gives me the occasional glance as if to say I am watching you….stranger! A loud shrill comes from a Tree slightly behind and to the left of me, I turn slowly to see what makes this abnoxious noise….wow a Pileated Woodpecker, Here’s a picture. This guy has to be 15" tall……

Sure is a beautiful Bird…..this is the second time I have seen him. Below a Rabbit hops through the Grass. It’s starting to get dark now, the sounds seem to become louder, the distant groan of a Combine roars through the air. I can feel the temperature changes coming to play, a warm breeze here then a cold one…..its nice to be out here. In front of me flits a female Cardinal, she lands at the base of a Wild Rose bush, close behind her is the Male, so bright they are. Everthing else pales in comparison.

God I wish you were here. I hope you are having a good weekend! I feel so burdened by what I have brought on for you. I know it has only been a couple of months, but it feels like I have known you forever….in some strange way like we were meant to walk hand in hand. But, I have brought nothing but trouble for you, I hope you do not hold it against me. What a cruel punishment. So, so close and yet untouchable. I know I will never get to feel your head rest on my shoulder, or the soft touch of your hand on my neck. B you are my perfect Soul mate. But then reality hits me hard, I have no idea how you feel. I would like to think at least on some level the same. But will never have the chance to find out. I guess that is the way it is intended at least at this point. There are so many "what ifs" I could set and talk with you for hours….but I have also seen you talk this way with others too, so maybe its just a mis-interpretation on my part. After all you have said before you have treated me as no more than any other friend. I look at me and look at you, you are so out of my league. If we did have a chance, could I keep you interested in me? Could I keep you happy? Would you look at me with that twinkle in your Eyes I have come to adore? God, I would hope so. Maybe this is all just the Romantic in me? I don’t know. I just hope you realize I gave you something more precious than air. The remainder of my Heart, all others have faded in your light. Don’t sigh….its true, just something about you is so right…so warm….so comforting. I can’t help but Love you! I know, there are those words again. Just be careful with my heart, it’s the last piece! Also, If you ever need me please please call me. If I find out something is wrong and you don’t let me know, I will be so pissed at you! Diane should be moving out shortly so you won’t have to be afraid to call. I will still use restraint when calling you. I understand the situation and do not want to be the cause of anything. I don’t want you to hold anything against me., anything more than is already there. I do not want to be the cause of you not taking a job. What a bunch of crap. I want us to be clean. I would so like to meet your children and Gwenny!! I know its not appropriate though, so I will stick with my kids and g-kids. But I can only imagine the twinkle in your eyes when you hold Gwen. I wish I could introduce you to my kids and g-kids. Maybe in the next life. Let me guarantee you of this, if I go before you I will be waiting at St. Peters gate for you, arms open and the biggest smile you can imagine. Why did this have to happen, I was set to be a miserable , crotchety unhappy old man….well I guess I still have time for that. : ) I Love you so much Belinda. I hope you realize what I could have given you! Unconditionally! I wish I was a rich man, I would make your financial troubles disappear. But, at the moment have quite a few of my own. Guess I need to start advertising my business again. This may be the last letter I get to write to you. Will you read it? I think so. Will you hold it close to your Heart? Possibly. Will you look at me one last time with that Twinkle in your Eyes? Maybe. If you need me I am here! If you want me I am here! Your Rob! I wonder what you would say if you could write to me? I wonder what you would say if you could speak openly. Maybe someday I can find out!

One last thing, I hope you don’t think I am this messed up all the time. I can be strong and confident, and I will get there again. I should not have put all this on you, I apologize for that! I wouldn’t be such a handful if we were ever together. Your probably thinking yeah right! LOL

 

The Chickadee, one of my favorite Birds to watch!

 

 

Its Sunday now, I have looked at my phone a couple dozen times….don’t know why I expect a call. I shouldn’t, I will stop looking. Of course maybe it’s the signal, yeah that’s gotta be it…..the signal. I know you will be happy, me well that’s another story. You would think I would be used to not getting the girl! But I’m not. Doe’s that make me a sore looser? Still working on that one. I don’t want to just settle again. I hope I have the will power to not do that. I want what we shared, if only mostly one sided and fleeting………

overwhelmedmich overwhelmedmich
41-45, M
2 Responses Aug 15, 2007

This is really cool. I was there with you in that tree man, we can sit here and wait for our girls together :)

This is really cool. I was there with you in that tree man, we can sit here and wait for our girls together :)