I have a serious problem, every single meaningful relationship (male or female) that i have ever had I find some way to completely destroy it. Anytime someone gets too close to me I will subconciously undermine the very foundations that hold it together. I dont even know that I am doing it until it is too late. The tragedy of it all is that I was raised without very much love at all,and have such a love deficiet, that what I need in my life constantly is love. I need to be showered with affection, adored even to feel remotely happy with life. It's horrble! As you can imagine, I have gone through one addiction after another. Not that I am addicted to any one thing I am addicted to being addicted it seems. Currently I have a sex and *********** addiction which in turn is tearing my marriage apart. I know that it is happening, I know what i need to do, and I know how to stop it. I just cant seem to do it! It's like I go on auto-pilot at times and just run through the pre-programmed behavior and awake later feeling like the lowest piece of crap on the planet. I seriously think there is something wrong with me and I should be taken out back and put out of my misery.