Happy Family?

Ahhhh... where do I start? I'm in a mess :(


I have a beautiful family. Perfect boyfriend. Perfect baby girl. But I'm just missing something :

I broke up with my ex over 2 years ago but I can't help thinking theres still something I can't let go of. He treated me like ****, at best it was good but at worst it was hell. We ended on him just not being interested anymore. I moved on started a new life, new boyfriend - that I am still with today. He wanted me back though - maybe thats it? I don't know. I still think of him most days. I still think of how maybe, we could have worked out if I hadn't moved on so fast? I still make excuses for his vile behavior. Surly this shouldn't be the thoughts of a woman who seems to have everything? A perfect daughter and a perfect gentleman? I don't know why I feel like this :( some days I just want to make his life a living hell - just like he did mine, but some days I reminis about old times and simetimes I fantasize how things might have worked out had I given him that second shot. I'm an idiot, I go through his emails now and again, only cause he mails me telling me he still wants me and loves me - and I suppose I don't believe him. So I check out what he's been saying to other girls and it makes me angry and hurt what I find :( Why should I be bothered? Some days it kills me but some days I don't even think of him... What can I do to make myself realise that I'm better off now than I ever would be with him? Or maybe I'm just kidding myself :( Humph....

missenigmatic missenigmatic
1 Response Feb 13, 2010

Failed realtionships alwaies fall into the "WHAT IF" file. NOt worth pursuing.<br />
Be happi with what is present. Go forward. Do not look backwards.