I Just Want To Scream And Scream & Scream.. If Only .... I Am N Orphan...

What can I say.. I am so pissed off with the people who call themselves family.. with the world and everything.. Why does nothing ever get thru?  I came from probably one of the worst dysfunctional families ever.. but im guessing there will be worse.. if nothing else.. i couldnt have been landed with the worst family ever in my situation....

I was sexually abused for more than 12-13 yrs by my father.. from the age of 6-7.. i am now 38.. (still ******* me off),, i have 2 brothers a sister and a mum.. to keep it short.. my sister is getting married this yr and it has opened a can of worms.. one of my brothers (who i dont spk to) is in a father/son relationship with our dad who abused me.. i hate his guts but rest of family still have a relationship with him.. (my brother) what can i say!!!! anyway.. my sister asked me to b a bridesmaid? the dilemma? my brother was going to be there.. I voiced my feelings.. "i dont want to share the same air with him".. this caused a big uproar.. nasty words exchanged (by text) before i know it i have become the family outcast.. my sister and my mother no longer spk to me..  my mum has never understood y i was the age i was wen the abuse was still going on... i guess she really shouldnt have said " your sister wouldnt have let it happen" "she is more strongwilled than u".. do i need to say any more? this is a cut version... but a rough idea of what has happened... is it me?  I feel really let down and stung by this.. my mum was never really a good mum.. but a mum on paper anyway.. 

anybody have similar issues?


jancro34 jancro34
36-40, F
2 Responses Mar 11, 2010

Thank you for your comments. I didn't have a particularly strong relationship with my sister and so it is perhaps a good thing that we no longer have a relationship at all. I did follow my heart and I expressed it carefully, it just wasn't reacted to in the way I expected. <br />
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Anyway, I feel better for writing it down as I find writing therapeutic.<br />
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Again, thank you for your words.<br />

I'm sorry for you that you had to endure such from someone who was supposed to be your protector, not your abuser.<br />
I know from job experience that it does happen and it leaves lasting marks on a person.<br />
As to your dilemma with your sister, I can only say that you have to follow your heart and base it on the relationship that you have with her. If it is good, I'd say, do it for her and her only, and the rest of the family, including the brother be damned. If it isn't good, then tell her in good faith that you can't support her at this time, and be specific as to why. <br />
If the sister knew of the abuse and said nothing, perhaps it is because she was also being abused and has not come to the realization that you have and doesn't want to admit it.<br />
Hold your head up high, because the abuse does not make you a bad person.<br />
My prayers are with you.