Tired Of Being Tired.I'm a 50 yr old single, childless woman. I have no friends and a job that I hate. I don't really feel good about myself because I feel like a loser. When I was younger, i never imagined that I'd be in this situation. I was sure that I'd be married with children and possibly grandchildren at this point in my life. I have nothing. I haven't contributed anything to society. I often question why I was even born. I will never win a beauty contest, but I'm not the most unattractive person in the world either. Everybody I know either has children, are married or in a solid relationship. I feel totally left out of society. I get tired of having to hear about other peoples excursions, their cute and funny little stories about their families, etc. I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. I basically do everything alone. I get sad and depressed when I see couples out enjoying their lives when I have nothing to do. I've had a couple of relationships in my lifetime. Obviously, they didn't last. Guys just want to date me for what they can get out of me. No one really cared about me. I don't take kindly to being used, so I removed myself from those situations. I have a couple of family members that I'm close to, but I don't have the guts to tell them how I feel about life. They would never understand and I don't need anyone telling me what a valuable person I am when I know in my heart that is not the case. I feel like the black sheep of my family. Most people that I know think that I'm a great and fun person. So, I don't understand why nobody wants to be with me. I understand that God put us on this earth for a reason and we all serve a purpose...I just don't get what mine is and I'm tired of trying to figure it out. I am so afraid of growing old because I'm going to be a lonely old woman. What if I get sick? I won't have anyone to take care of me. If this is how it's going to be, I wish God would call me home right now. I'm tired of this life.
Thanks for reading my story. I realize that the situation is what it is. I just needed to tell someone.
ladytw1962 46-50 8 Responses 2 Aug 11, 2012