Tired And Lonely.

I live in a very un-supportive house. very un-supportive. my father goes from being extremely annoying, in a mocking way, to extremely enraged, where he is throwing things at my mother, brother, and I, hitting us, screaming and cursing. My mother thinks he's a sociopath, and I agree with her. When arguing with him, everything I say, no matter if its truth or not, Is a huge lie, or is manipulated to make me wrong. My mom has put up with his **** for so long, that she just avoids him at all costs, so i rarely get help from her. Since i'm the oldest, and he expects the most from me, and I cant deliver. He expects me to do well in classes that I have absolutely no skill in, which always leads to arguments and violence. I'm told im a fat slob, i'm retarded, and that i'm going to be kicked out of the house weekly. he threatens me with beatings and says he wont pay for me to go to college. i'm just tired of fighting because i never can win. I've cut myself a few times because of him and i am toying with ideas of suicide. i cant take this much longer.