My Silence, My Pain!

I need to talk to someone but instead I’m sitting in my room writing this. I know none of them will read it. While I pass it here ''online'' in front of a thousand eyes to read.. Or maybe not that much..







I feel I complain to the unknown and I share my secrets to the world. Yet I don’t give a damn..

 
I will shut up this noise inside me. If I could! 

I want to talk and I don’t care about the number of screed lines, and the number of the people who will get tired from reading this. I assume you’re going to stop reading this anyway.

 
When I want to write it feels like a thing of the characters began sneaking outside the walls of my throat!

I write because I am sad and this is a my reality..

I write because I don't  really find anyone understands this sadness inside me..

No one fumbles this asphyxia voice inside me, hold my hand and tell me that the world does not deserve all these tears and pain..

 
I do not want to look for this person because I am afraid I will lose them..

 
I am hesitant, and I feel the voice frequency within this lines I am writing.

It feels like those characters, lines is the only things could understand me..

 
I need people who understand this silence, I need someone who knows who I am, I need those who do not take advantage of my love, my kindness.. 

Inside me a swathe of silence, and another swathe I am afraid show! I am afraid to explode so I only go to my number one solution, writing!

I need something breaks this sadness inside me!

For small signal, and a small light in another way, for a lost dream come true, to an old friend come back!!

I need something happens beyond my expectations!

I need to remove the accumulated anger inside me, not that I point out by angry because I am good at consulting people.

I need to get a pat shoulder, a hug, to be overwhelmed with attention, honesty, appreciation..

I need to cry, I really accumulated my tears inside me for a long time. It’s suffocating me..

I am really tired and I can’t be patient..

I need those who do not go! Therefore I become closer to God..

I need much beside me, and I am confident that God is the only remaining thing..  I neglected something of my prayers, Sometimes I lose my last hope..



I am really crumbling from the inside! Therefore my dreams collapse..

I need something, someone, a thing that could stop this feeling.

 

I am not OK..

 

 

I hope someone tells me I'll be okay..

I do not know what to write anymore! I do not feel that I wrote what I really feel…


But I will just hold that whole silence of the earth inside me, and sleep!!