Did I Just Realize Something?

This one is a long explanation with a short question. I'm what my friends call a NEET (Not Educated, Experienced, or Trained). I graduated high school June 2012, and I've never had a job in my life. I'd look every so often but since I got out of school, I've just been no-lifeing it on Xbox for the most part. Just before Christmas, my best friend came back from basic training for the Marine Corp. He was staying until the 2nd of January and then he would go to combat training. I talked to him and my Grandfather (who was in the Army Reserves during Vietnam, but was never deployed) about going to the Air Force. My Grandfather is a very wise man for his age, so when he told me that it'd be perfect for me, I thought I finally had a life plan going on. I told my friend and he said the same thing. While I wouldn't be physically or mentally fit for the Army or Marine Corp, I have a very logical mind and when I do try, I can do math very well and, according to my Grandfather and friend, would work well with computer hardware if I try. So no, I wouldn't be seeing combat, but, when I told my mother, she outright refused to hear of it, falling back on the WWII training steryotype. It'd take to long to go into detail about this part, but I've always felt the need to please her no matter what, more-so out of fear. Now don't take that as me antagonizing my mother, because I'm not. She went through hell and back raising me, and she does care about my well being. After that Air force incident with her, I hadn't spoke of it.

Before New Years Eve, my friend called me up asking to talk to a recruiter since he was tasked with finding potential people, but he had nobody, and he didn't want to get fired after basic training. He knew I didn't want to go to the Marine Corp, at all, but he wanted this favor of me, just to cover for him, so I said yes. Today, I finally get a call from a Sgt. asking me about my interest in the Marine Corp. I played it out saying that I did want info, but that I was still stuck under the stereotype of hard training. So now, tomorrow morning at 9:30 AM, he's picking me up via car and driving me to a station to run some mental tests and get info. Right now, I have the idea to fall back on the physical and mental argument I said before, and then mention the Air Force.

Here's where the real predicament begins. I told my mother about the call, and then said to her reassuringly that I don't intend on joining. She became frustrated, but then came up with a valid point here. She said that it's harder to say no to someone who spends more time trying to sell you something. The more you allow them to spend time trying reel you in, the harder it becomes to reject them. She then said that what if I **** the guy off saying no, and then I have to sit in the same car with him going home? I'm not one for common sense, so I don't really think this stuff through at all, and believe me, it hit hard. After a period of silence, I told her about the Air Force again, to which she refused to hear of it. I decided to press the issue and tell her to stop falling back on the stereotype of harsh training and seeing combat. She replied that she does not think it's the right thing for me.

So here's my realization and question. I mature slower than most, that I know. I may act and think like a 14 year old still because of it. Trust me, I know nothing about the real world. I live in a rock. I know my mother understands that, and she tries to make good judgment about what I should do with my life, but here's the realization...Why should that be an excuse to not go out and try? Why do I still need to be babied like so? I also realized that just because she doesn't agree with something doesn't make it wrong. Yes, this sounds childish, but believe me, since I'm somewhere on the Autism scale, it just makes sense that I thought of her like a god to never go against. Not that I'm making her look like a bad guy, but still, at this point, she may just be a road block. My question is, what do you think of all this? If I'm not even going to college and can't find a job for my life, wouldn't it make sense to fall back on the military? This may be a short question, but I'm looking for some long detailed answers here from people who know about growing up in general. This isn't a sad thing or anything, I just want some advice on what to do next. Oh, and by the time you read this, I will have already talked to the recruiter mentioned before.
granola64 granola64
22-25, M
2 Responses Feb 11, 2013

I agree with Truthquest. I think there is no harm in going out and seeing if the military is right for you. I understand what it's like to "grow up slowly," and personally, I think you have the best attitude that someone could have in your situation--and that attitude is your motivation. You seem like you're ready to make a major life-changing move, and that's the best time to take it.

From what you've said about your mother, it sounds as if she's just scared of you getting hurt or suffering consequences. But I think you're right, you aren't going to get anywhere if you just sit around doing nothing for her sake. I hope the recruitment works out for you, and if not, I hope you can find another venture. Your mother will be hurt for now, but I'm pretty sure she'll be fine in the long run once everything works out.

Good luck!!

Being on the autism spectrum doesn't necessarily disqualify you from military service. Go and take their tests...it will give you a much better idea of what you might be suited for, in the military or otherwise. Trust me, if there's something about you that's unsuitable, they won't ask you to join up!

You can make a decision in advance not to join. To stall off the Marine recruiter, you can plan out what you want to tell him. If nothing else, just tell him that you had to swear to your family beforehand that you would not sign anything until you came home and discussed the test results, etc. Make him put ALL his promises in writing, and carry that home to discuss with your grandfather and mother. He might press you for a commitment, but that's his job. He's accustomed to people saying no, it happens all the time. He has the job because he's persuasive, and as long as you remember that you'll be fine.

It's great that you have initiative and want to better yourself. I think you have an excellent idea and it's possible that you could find your niche in the service. If not, their tests can give you a good handle on what your aptitudes are. Good luck to you!