I Never Show Emotions

I never show emotions. I'm an actress. In my personlife. I always act and it's just a part of who I am. I used to have a best friend (who was a guy) but things totally screwed up when his girlfriend found out that we hang out and she saw our text messages to eachother. Since she found out we haven't spoken to eachother for about 2 months and it's been hell cuz we're in the same class.
But last week we started texting again and she found out that too ... and now she calls me a ***** and says that I'm discusting, ***** and so on .. and says that she feels like throwing up every time she sees me so I should hid whenever I see her. (She goes to my school as well).

But I've been in a HUGE pain because of all this. But he dosen't now, no. Cuz I don't DARE to show my emotions, I can't bee seen as vunerable. Cuz then I fell so WEAK. Oh, this is just a bunch of rubbish really. I just like writing, takes my mind off things. KISS


But I'm afraid. I'm afraid right now, so afraid. It's like knifes stabbing my body when I see his eyes look at me and then look away, as if it burns seeing me. I hate this. OKEY. It's only 3 weeks 'til our Christmas-vaccation.

elizahopkins elizahopkins
18-21, F
6 Responses Nov 29, 2009

Don't continue to "act". You sound young, young enough to change this. Yes, it is scary being vulnerable, but believe me, the alternative is much worse. When you get 2 years into a relationship and they leave you because you are emotionally cold, that hurts more.

Learn to be open, learn to be vulnerable and learn to know it is okay.

And good friends are always good friends. They are like stars; always there but not always seen.

He feels the same pain when you look away, he's just confused and scared to show weakness like you. You need to tell him how much he means to you, that you guys are best friends and nothing can parallel that. Everything will work out in the wash and people like his girlfriend never end up on top; you're special.

Here's what usually happens with people like us; we explode. <br />
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You're not a robot, I'm not a robot. Hey, you act, I write, we all have our masks and our outputs. But the thing is that the emotions never stop running inside, do they? And then one day you just blabber it all out in the most un-gentle fashion possible, because you had it all pent-up inside you.<br />
<br />
So show a little emotion once in a while before it gets up to that point. Show a little love, show a little pain. People you call friends, you call them friends for a reason. Let them see you. <br />
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And don't turn your life into a stage. It's too precious for that.

And fyi, showing emotions is NOT silly. Unless you're showing a guy you like him--now THAT's silly.

He needs to have the brain to dump that witch he calls a girlfriend. And you need to stand up for yourself and talk to him about it. I mean he's your friend okay? Friends discuss issues and deal with them. I used to act like that too, like I was immune to everything going on around me. But now I look back on my life and regret all those times. Take anto's advice and gather your courage, okay?

Tell him how you feel.<br />
His girlfriends whack.<br />
You dont wanna look back and be like i shoulda said something trust me.