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Journal.

Throughout my life I have inconsistently journal-ed. I would at times keep more than one journal at the same time, writing in whichever one I had on hand. I also wrote on scraps of paper and later inserted those into whatever journal I was using. My journals were a place to keep private thoughts, accounts of the day, sketches, passwords and lists (of bands, favorite items, friends/enemies and boyfriends).

It was difficult to journal through my early teen years as my parents often read my journals and used the contents against me. The trust issues and almost comically humiliating need for privacy I developed as a result still affect me today. By my late teens I had about given up on journaling all together for a variety of reason that included: a lack of privacy in my household, depression and simply not wanting to remember the bad things I was doing and feeling. When I moved out of my parent's house at 19, I began journaling again. My head felt so heavy with things I needed to get out and when I finally began writing again the weight was lifted. I found great relief from laying my thoughts bare on paper.

Today I am more consistent with my journaling than I have been but I do not write everyday. I use it more as a tool to alleviate stress than record my life. Writing the angry things I want to say to people keeps me from saying them and reduces unnecessary confrontation in my life. It is also a good place to keep lists/records of important happenings and if something wonderful happens I include it in great detail. I believe I will continue to journal as a means to keep my head and my heart light.
Kolibri11356 Kolibri11356 22-25, F Jun 12, 2012

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