Do you ever have one of those nights where you just get completely assaulted by memories? Where all of sudden everything comes flooding back in a title wave of mixed emotions and left over anger? That's the kind of night I'm having, everything I've bottled up from the last few years, from my last relationship and the year of mixed hell it caused all came back. I can remember weeks of not hearing from him because he wanted "space" and then having the nerve to be upset when I decided to go camping with friends and not invite him. I remember the fact that I was so stressed out at that point I hadn't slept in I don't know how long and was barely eating, that was also weekend I started smoking, anything to release the stress. I remember the heart crushing moment when 4 days before Christmas and nearly a year into our relationship he broke up with me over a text message and then finding out months later from one our neutral friends that he had been cheating on me just about the whole time we where together. I remember being so confused be cause everyone I met, everyone I was introduced to was so excited to meet me because they said they hadn't seen him that happy or healthy for very very long time and that I was so good for him. I remember the months and months it took for me to pull myself back together and the fact that I still don't remember that Christmas because I was so messed up and so numb after the break up that even my parents where seriously concerned about my mental health. I try so hard to keep everything pushed down and bottled up and to smile and pretend that everything is great all the time but sometimes the seal on that bottle breaks and everything just pours out and tonight is one of those nights.
misspaperwait misspaperwait
22-25, F
Jul 7, 2014