Hadn't Planned To

Now, in the beginning, i did keep EP a secret...course, i really didn't have anyone i wanted to tell either, so it was easy lol  But the more i learned, the more support i received, the easier it was to share this website with people who i thought could benefit from it.  Some of them i told my username, others i didn't.  There really wasn't anything i was too worried about anyone finding out that they didn't already know.  Over time tho...i've been here almost 2.5yrs now (i can't believe it!)...i still share the website occassionally, but not much.  Maybe it's b/c EP has changed since i started and i don't know if others would like the changes, or b/c of the drama i tend not to promote the website b/c why would i tell them about a website that has a lot of drama when they are trying to get away from it in their own lives?

However, my latest decision has been to keep EP a secret from my current boyfriend.  We've not been together a long time...only 4 months.  At first I started to tell him about it, but then changed my mind b/c i wanted him to get to know me without already knowing everything about me from what he would've read from my stories etc.  i didn't think that was fair b/c i couldn't get to know him the same way.  SO, no mention of the specific website, just a general website i belong to where i have super awesome friends :) and can vent my thoughts.  i think that was a good decision.  I've since learned things about him, his beliefs, etc that differ from mine...and if he were to read some of the stories i've written...i'm not sure he'd stick around.  Having said that, we do discuss our differences...at length sometimes lol  So that is our way of learning about each other, rather than have him reading all about it at once.  one step at a time.  everything comes out over time, and i feel that i should definitely have a say in when or if the right time comes along.  This is my place.  my thoughts are here, my life is here.  it's where i come to sort out my thoughts and feelings.  sometimes people don't need to be privy to the thought process that lead them to the decisions they make...especially relationship wise.  so for now...EP is my secret :)

KinkyFlower KinkyFlower
31-35, F
1 Response Feb 11, 2010

we've gotten to know each other a lot more over the last few months...just last night even we talked about stuff we want for the future, etc...so...so far so good :)