I Have No Voice....

I am unable to pick up the phone, and call someone, and say I need them. I am unable to look a family member in the eye, and tell them, I don't knnow if I am going to okay this time., I keep quiet because its the only thing I know how to do. Its the only thing that I am able to do, its the only thing I know HOW to do. I break down at night, and I end up scaring people, and freak them out, so I am tyying not to tdo that anymore! I know its bad to keep it in, because it will hurt you, but I rather i keep it in, and it hurt me, than I ket it out, and it huts others.

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3 Responses Jul 14, 2010

That's how I feel!

thats interesting, that is often exactly how i feel. But im able to keep quiet at night and hide my emotions so those around me wll not suspect anything. Though it is harmful to keep those feelings bottled up inside, I did so for years and to an extent still do. We all have reasons to hide our pain, but it helps to find some type of outlet, whether it be artistic ex<x>pression or a simple conversation. I know its difficult and there are risks, i've been broken for them, but we have to find a way to get past those down times. I grew hiding what i felt, to grew being ashamed of crying or letting others see me cry. But i have to tell myself it is alright to cry and to cope, this is the first step to healing, or at least feeling better for the moment (i usually go in my room or somewhere by myself until i'm calmer). So feel free to cry and let it out when you need to, and also try pretending you are talking to someone for practice, maybe write it down on paper, so that you will know exactly how you feel, why you feel that way, and what, if anything, you can do to fix it. That way if you ever feel like having a conversation about it, you will know what to say. Or you can try writing it and letting someone read it, whatever works best. But if you ever think that you are alone, now you know at least one other person who is in your same boat =)

Don't hold it in... it's not your audience that has to be strong: it's you.