It's Killing Me
I have had so much emotion pent up inside of me for so long. Everything ranging from blind rage to gut wrenching heartache to a need for love. Growing up I learned to protect myself by hiding my emotions. Even though being emotionally abused by my family tore me apart inside, I would never show it in front of them. I didn't have anyone to turn to so I just stuffed everything down. Now I'm finding out that ignoring my feelings doesn't make them go away. It's affecting my confidence (or lack thereof), my focus, my relationships both professional and personal. I've considered trying to find a support group to help me deal with this but honestly, I'm afraid to face my emotions. I'm scared to go to that place and let it all out. I don't know what I might say or do and I don't know if I can control myself.