I Shut Down

Its easy for me write about everything that I feel and everything that has happened in my life, but when it comes to talking to someone about I just cant do it. I keep all my feeling and secrets of my past to myself. I dont feel comfrontable doing it, and I never will be. I think that it all goes back to my childhood. As a child, whenever I had a problem or was upset about something, I would go to my mother and she would just tell me that I was a p'ussy and that I needed to grow some balls and get the f'uck over it. Now, when I do start to talk about my problems I can still hear that voice of my mother then I just shut down. Sometimes I feel the need to let it all out, but the only way I can is thru writing. I always felt that my journal was my best friend, as werid as that may sound but it is the truth.
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
3 Responses May 16, 2012

I know exactly how u feel!

Sometimes i want to tell my partner how i feel about a situation and it either comes out all wrong or he totally doesn't get what i was trying to say. I get tired of hearing my own voice trying to explain.

I'm sorry, IB. But I understand how you feel. I'm not good at sharing my feelings out in the open either. I think sometimes it is easier to say what you need to in a journal or to someone anonymously rather than to people you know. Reactions, like disinterest or disappointment are the hardest to take. Keep writing in your journal - it is a good way to find peace. :)