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Fool I Stand

you talk about suffering, the agony the pain i cause. I am a hindrance in your life, according to you. But so easily you forget all the times I bailed you out, gave you shelter, gave you love, fed you always by your side when needed. Never questioning (******* idiot, i turned out to be) never asked you for much but some love, some consideration at times when i was going to pieces.Yet you through it all away. You threw me away like a piece of trash. use me discard me.  How many times can i subject myself to this constant rejection? and if its constant rejection maybe it is me in the end!
i am fool and i know it all to well. i wish loneliness killed me not just teased and tortured an already broken heart. All the promises you make you break.
All the lovely soft spoken words you once said have turned bitter and loud. Voices in my head are screaming where are you? the man i loved? who is this 'man' that stands before me, selfish & mean mean so so indulgent so far from what he use to be, But then again it was never u my heart belonged to. Away across the oceans it still lies with him because i will forever be his. But i did hide my feelings very well. Provided for him, cared for him, even listened to his problems and took part in the solutions but nothingness has priority over me. Like i said if loneliness could kill at least i wouldn't have turned 26. maybe next year will be luckier.
lonesomeallthetime lonesomeallthetime 26-30, F Dec 5, 2011

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