When You Keep To Much Inside Heart It Just Stirs You Up More And More

I have always been a strong person to the outside world. No matter how wrong unfair life treated me i never wept before somebody.I cannot see people sympathising with me calling me poor little girl. I have become like this.I have often or more than often been a support system to all my friends and family trying and making there relationships and lives work but when it comes to my own self, i am just to alone or not ready to speak out myself. I often tell myself that you arent that strong as you think but u are what you think or you make yourself what you think about yourself so have i made myself like this that i am very strong with life. The world around me looks at me and says " strong girl" but little does the world know. I rarely telll myself of my fears and of my failures. It makes me weak and makes me very sad. The feeling just sucks. I have alot in my heart about how weak i am, how good i could help others and manage there relationships but failed at mines , how dejected i am towards life, how betrayed i feel with love and my life, how sad when i feel when i see me working hard in life and not been able to walk the right career path, how sad i feel when i think i wont be what i want, i wont be able to do what i want. Ill just be another story of failure and compromise. I hate compromising on life but i have done that more often now. I have alot to say but i cannot say.Maybe someday ill walk the streets alone and round the corner i'll find a stranger whom i would speak my heart out and he would still not console me or sympathise. I''ll just be me there which i could never be anywhere in life.
IllusionPlaying IllusionPlaying
18-21, F
Apr 20, 2012