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When You Let Your Mind Wander

when you let your mind wander, where does it go? Is there anyone else doing the same wondering and feeling as I? I find myself knowing that I have so many things going for me in my life, people cheering for me and loving me, i think i'm going places...yet I still find reasons to be sad and I have no inkling of an idea why. I feel like I can't do enough, like I can never live up to the potential others think I have...like I can never live up to the potential I KNOW I have... My expectations are too high, my goals too unreachable...too unrealistic... too...nonexistent. I know I've come so far but it just doesn't feel like it. It pales in comparison. I've reached no goals, helped no people, been selfish and cruel and greedy and full of ****. I'm a nobody and that's all i'll ever be. the world is so vast and spectacular and awe inspiring... What can I do to make an impact? I have no passion, no desire. I want great things for myself... I just don't know what they are, how to achieve them, where to begin. Sometimes i believe my life was meant to be short, meant to be ended in some fatal accident to inspire others. Sometimes I wonder why I was born at all. But then I think, how different would the world be if I hadn't been? Would there even be any difference at all? Who's life am I meant to change besides my own?
praytell praytell 18-21, F Aug 28, 2012

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