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I Used To Give People Chances But Now I Know Better...


In the past, I always gave people the benefit of the doubt that the messed up way they were treating me was somehow something they didn't really mean and that they were so very sorry. What a joke! When people are mean, it is just that, and they don't deserve to be in my life. For example, I let a girlfriend of mine stay in my home for a year and a half. At first she didn't have a job, so I let her slide with sharing in the cost of the rent, and I basically paid all the bills and bought the food. Once she got a job, she gave me some money. Over time, there was always one excuse or another about why she couldn't give me money. She started staying out for days at a time, and I found out she would spend her entire paycheck doing so, leaving me without any money for the rent or electric bills. I also felt sorry for her when she couldn't pay her phone bill, so I let her go on my account so it would cut the costs for both of us by sharing the bill. Of course, she eventually stopped paying me for that too and overused our minutes by $160. Needless to say, I shut off her phone, eliminated her from my account, and now I am kicking her out of my place. The only problem is she won't leave because she says she can't find a place to stay that she can afford. So now she is gone somewhere, but all of her stuff is still piled up in a mountain in the corner of my bedroom. If she doesn't get her stuff out soon, I think I'm going to either donate it to good will, or sell it on Ebay!
ldolszewski ldolszewski 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 2, 2012

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The problem is, that's not a friend. She saw you as a soft touch, and she used you. I know that's horrible, but that's what she did. Sadly, the friendship probably won't survive you throwing her out, but sometimes that's life. Before she moved in, you should have set ground rules, how you did things in your house, what bills were to be paid, and so on, and made her sign some kind of legal agreement, so that at least if she pulled this stuff, she would have to help you pay it if you took her to court.

I hear you loud and clear and I'm doing the same thing. But, don't do anything that will land you in trouble, give her whatever proper legal notice is for your area that she MUST pick up her belongs by a deadline and THEN get rid of them however you choose after she fails to comply. I put up with the same kind of behavior for over twenty years because the offender is my child, but now, NO MORE, no matter who it is! I'm saving my help for people who deserve it and who do the same for others when they can. Some people's plan for getting by in life is to con as many others into doing it for them as much as they can -- it works for them and they will keep on doing it for as long as you allow them to get away with it. Guess I'm a slow learner, or maybe I kept thinking that because I love her she'll some day appreciate me, but now I know better. Sad but true.

You kicked out your own daughter? How old was she?

well, as I said I put up with it for over 20 years -- that daughter is 40 -- I even raised her children for her for nearly 5 years during which time she contributed $0.00 to help --

I feel sorry for her kids, if you want me to be honest. You did all you could do, you can only help for so long. Hope she got her act together.