My 9 Year Old Is Violent.

I have 4 kids from my first marriage. My ex husband was very abusive and violent to me and my oldest son (my 9 year old is Gabe and the 3rd child). We divorced when he was 3 and I fought for full custody instead of joint parenting. I won 4 years later, and my husband adopted them last year. Gabe has always been different. He never really wants to be part of the family, and when he does get around the other kids, he ends up beating up my 8 year old. Like he cant stand peace and quiet. The last straw was when he told my 11 year old daughter today that he thinks about killing her. I don't know what to do! Should I take him seriously?
dcgt04 dcgt04
26-30, F
2 Responses Nov 25, 2012

Its terrifying because he gets the same look in his eye as my ex husband did. His eyes literally get darker, almost black.
I have called the psychiatric unit near by and I'm taking him for an eval today.

I hope you have a good outcome from the eval with an actual way of greatly and permanently improving his attitude and outlook on life and turning him completely around to be the son, you can be proud of.

I am sorry for every horrible thing you went through and I hope you can have a healthy and happy life, from now on.
To answer your question, in my opinion, yes, I believe you absolutely must take your sons words extremely seriously.

If he already beats your 8 year old for no reason and then makes implied threats about killing his sister then there is no doubt it is a very serious threat.

I think you need to find an extremely well qualified professional so has dealt with seriously violent cases before.
You'd probably have to look long and hard to find the right person, someone who will not just try and dismiss it among some kind of feel good platitudes and actually recognize the seriousness of the situation, as well as someone who has some actual helpful ideas what to do about it.

I do not think you go to just anyone and I don't think you have any times to lose.
He may never actually try to carry out his threat or he might G-d forbid, be planning it right now. You just can't know.

Even if he never actually tries it, unless you get him some serous help he might G-d forbid turn into the next mass murderer or the guy who eventually kills some other motorist in a case of road rage.

I am sorry if my words hurt you I do not mean to and do not want to.
I am just trying to be sincere and honest in answering your questions.

May you and your family find true and lasting, peace and happiness.