I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. And I couldn't stop thinking.

For one perfect month , I was on top of the world - dating an amazing guy who couldn't stop raving about me and about to embark on the most exhilarating and exciting career move I could dream of. And then - poof! It all went up in smoke. My house of cards came crashing down. My boyfriend disappeared on me and returned briefly only to say that 'this relationship was like a shoe that didn't fit' (what 31 year old compares his first ever relationship to a shoe??? A shoe???) and could we please go back to being just friends (I politely declined the offer)? The career move didn't materialize and I found myself suddenly unemployed and searching for work in a frozen job market.

And depressed as hell.

So one night, when I couldn't sleep, on an impulse, I crept out of bed, opened the closet and took out an unfinished knitting project that I'd started 3 years ago. And started knitting. And stopped only when I'd finished it.

And then started another - a more complicated pattern. Finished it and gifted it to my favorite high school teacher. And then started on two more.

And every time I finish one, I feel like I'm slowly taking back a piece of my life - the way I want it to be. After years of starting knitting projects and abandoning them , finishing one after another feels oddly empowering! Like my life might be in a place I never planned for but I know I'll be okay. It'll get back on track eventually - like a close buddy of mine likes to say - It's good. S'all good!
rarewitch rarewitch
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 21, 2013

That's sad and inspiring in the same time, I know how you feel and I'm so glad you're getting over it because one day everything is going to be fine and you'll find the guy that deserves you.

Thanks Sarah :-)