this bi-polar thing really completely totally sux> I am finally at the end of a dead end street.  I am completely over come with absolute depression. I have been thinking of only one thing   relief. My every breath is miserable, I am completely ashamed and embarassed by this short circut in my mind, emotions, "soul: thought process etc. I am actually extremley stressed and worried. Its disgusting, I am in tears at the public library, 48 year old  man. School of hard knocks and industrial labor......... A pile of crying scared  sheet
originalmadman originalmadman
46-50, M
5 Responses Feb 27, 2012

Muha ha ha ha ha ha....oh just shoot yourself already

It does suck!!! Especially when people tell you how wonderful intelligent etc etc etc you are , you can't see it!!!!!! How wonderful life Is , but you can't see it ....and no matter what u do u r depressed. I know I know I know ... But I also know this ... We NEED MEDs. It's like being diabetic they don't produce insulin we don't produce happiness . I CAN READ YOUR MIND that is not the way out , go to <br />
Your MD I take lithium and seroquel <br />
It works... Not completely I gave to do my part . I read only self help books I write I listen to music I play racquetball ... I think ... I make vision boards and put on fridge I watch ba<x>seball I STOPPED feeling sorry gor myself . I can beat this so can you.. Ask the people you love and love you to constantly re<br />
Ind you YOU ARE SPECIAL becuz you need to hear it! YOU ARE SPECIAL! I tell my husband I need to hear these things to remind me I am loved , I require extra attention <br />
It's easy when someone loves you .<br />
It's ok to be 48 sbd cry if you need to but when you stop crying start doing... You have to seek the help you have to not want to feel this anymore . Dont feel shame or unmanned! You are human I sm sure you are wonderful and love yourself even if you can't find a reason to ...when you get over this bump in the road ... There will be more but with every bump you will have mire strength and less fear of <br />
Raising your hand a d saying today is a bad day I need to hear there is a readon why i am here! And telling your doctor EXACTLY HONESTLY <br />
WHAT YOU FEEL NO HOKDING BACK ! god I live in your shoes <br />
I KNOW!!!! xoxo xoxo

hi n yes u are not alone...just carry on doing wht u doing ....get out...spend more time with family n friends..don't stay alone for long periods of time koz it only makes things worse...wht ws the initial reason 4 ur depression? is it loneliness? divorce? health problems?....u need to fight the cause of ur depression first....really hope u get better .

hello thankyou for posting I am truly grateful

There is no shame. I battle depression and ptsd every day. Have I cried in public for no apparent reason? Yes. Was I embarrassed? Yes. But I refuse to give in to this disease. I will fight. I wish you peace and happiness in this journey of life. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign that one has been strong for too long. Chin up Steve!

thank you for posting. I appreciate your time and caring

:) Be well!

i fully agree with you / i watch a touching moment in a movie in sports or reality shows that reminds me of the past tears comes to my eyes and then i feel better tired of holding back tears i am a man and i can cry